Looking Back On Motherhood

Motherhood has been an incredible, insane and just plain tiring adventure. The entire time I was pregnant I was too busy trying to make it through the day, to really reflect on the magnitude of change that was about to occur. I didn’t realize the full scope of how I would change. Most may not know, my husband Mark has two children from his first marriage, so when we married, I instantly became a mom of sorts.

My wonderful stepdaughter Virginia is about to turn 13 and is a mix of sass and sports, which I fear isn’t going to change anytime soon. We instantly bonded over nail polish and making fun of her dad, so "stepmoming" her is "easy." Remind me of that when she’s 16 and trying to play me off her dad to get a curfew extension.

My stepson Charles, he's eight, and was a little tougher of a sell. He liked me fine once I started buying him fireworks, of course, because what little boy doesn't like to play with sparklers?, but gradually over the last year, he's shown me that I've got a long road ahead. Boys are a completely different world to me. I don't inherently love bugs and getting dirty. Baseball isn't exactly my sport. But thankfully, I've got "like the coolest job" when I show him machinery videos and let him wear my hard hat when he wants to go on an adventure in the backyard. Never mind this latest adventure was during his little brothers' Baptism party when 40 people were in our front yard...

Because of Virginia and Charles, I had a taste of what motherhood would be like, but these past seven months have shown me I really have no idea what I'm in for. Every other weekend we've got a full house, and while it used to stress me, I now often join in on the trash talking during Mario Kart racing.

I still feel defeated on a weekly basis by two 15 lb. people, but when little hands grab on to me those feelings usually go away. These past seven months have taught me more than I ever thought they would, and made me miss my mom more than I ever imagined. Atlanta isn't that far from Montgomery, but at 2 a.m. when one of my boys won't stop crying and I am so completely lost as to what could be wrong with him, well, Atlanta might as well be Africa.

All it takes is one look at Charles to realize that the nights may be long, but the years are going to be short. One day, not to far from now, I will have to get two hard hats, so Fitz and Alex can don safety vests and hard hats while they adventure in the backyard—just like their big brother did.