Celebrating Fitz & Alex: One Wild Year

I am going to just ignore the fact that it has been nearly one month since Fitz and Alex's big birthday, and cut right to the details.

The Saturday after their birthday, Mark and I welcomed family and friends to our little space in the world to celebrate One Wild Year.

It was everything I thought it would be and more and nothing like I thought it would be. Isn't that how parties usually go?

The food was easy and fantastic. We leaned on local barbecue maestro Johnny Ryan for smoked chicken wings and Boston butts; pasta salad sides and coleslaw from The Fresh Market.

The dessert table was one of my favorite elements, local shop Cake Designs did both smash cakes and the large sheet cake for guests. My fabulous and favorite "cookie lady" Ellen Hamilton did the most adorable animal faces and monograms for the sugar cookies.

The Watering Hole offered bottled water, Coors Light and Jungle Juice. After all, it really has been a wild year for everyone so Jungle Juice seemed MIGHTY appropriate.

I originally stressed hardcore about this party but then ended up doing everything décor-wise super last minute. I ordered a obscene amount of inflatable animals, thanks Amazon!, and they were the main focus for the party, besides the birthday boys of course. Paper products were solid green for main course and giraffe print for dessert, also from Amazon.

At nearly midnight the Thursday before the party I was up giving myself glue gun burns so we had a wreath that matched the party, and knotting jute to make a banner for the mantle.

 

I am my mother's child, without question.

As a party favor, guests had their choice of lollipops and/or zoo animal shaped bubbles. "This year has really blown us away." I can't help myself, I'm a writer. 

I wondered for months how the smash cake thing would go. In fact, I was extremely rigid in NOT giving the boys cake before their birthday. I wanted that picture. You know the one, with the glee on the kid's face as they dove head first into the icing.

Well, obviously, Fitz and Alex's plans always trump mine and we ended up with so many great pictures and videos. It warmed my heart.

 

I mean, these kids of mine? They really have a way of making sure you forget about the 5am wakeups or the constant stress on our budget or my constant worrying over Alex.

Or the fact that I about drove my super crafty mother crazy handing her a bag of remnants from Joann's four days before the party, saying, hey, you can do the highchair banners, right?

__________________________

Party details:

Invitations, menu cards, thank you cards: Shelby Berry

"Party Wares": Mantle banner, plastic ware, napkins, balloons, etc.: Amazon, Michaels, Dollar Tree
Fabric for tables and high chair banners: JoAnn's
Inflatable Animals: Amazon, Amazon, Amazon
Alligator Ring Toss: Amazon
Smash Cake, Sheet Cake: Cake Designs

Animal and Monogram cookies: Ellen Hamilton (she ships!)

Smoked Chicken Wings, Boston Butt: Johnny Ryan's

Pasta Salads, Colesaw: The Fresh Market

Candy Buffet: Party City
Zoo Animal Bubbles: Amazon

**Photographs by the talented Shelby Berry**

Nine, Ten, Eleven Months

I thought about going back and postdating your ninth and tenth month updates this morning before penning your eleventh month one, if only so looking back on this I could fool myself and think I had our lives a semblance of put together, but I decided against it.

Here's the deal babies: I love you so much; you're quickly becoming people though. You are eating table food and you don't take naps like newborns. Hell, you barely take naps like babies. You only get two bottles a day. You're on the road to becoming kids.

And we're busy. Not just because you're little people that keep me on my toes every single Saturday—but I've stayed committed to Junior League and Pure Barre and I joined a tennis team. And sometimes I just have too much fun playing with you to remember to write down what you weigh. I know, this makes me sound like a bad mom, but it's the truth. I love you so much, and you amaze me every day. But in the process of becoming your mother, I didn't lose myself.

So I'm just busy. I promise I won't disappoint you on the big stuff, because reading your mother's blog posts from when you were infants won't disappoint you, right?, but if I want to let this online journal slip a bit, it's no biggie.

I'm going to do an abbreviated update on these three months of your life. Really, the big one comes in a few short weeks, I already have a lot of emotions surrounding it.

At NINE MONTHS, we started weaning y'all off the bottle. It's been touch and go. Alex really took to it at first; but like always where one of you is, the other isn't far off. Fitz has found his groove and loves his milk. At your doctor's appointment, Fitzy was weighing in at 17 lbs. 14 oz. and Alex was a solid 16 lbs. 8 oz. Alex was shorter by only a half inch.

At TEN MONTHS, you turned our entire world upside down and started crawling. I baby proofed the house, or I thought I baby proofed the house. You've quickly shown me that really, it's y'all's world, I just provide the food.

At ELEVEN MONTHS, I can tell you both want to walk so bad. In fact, you both take wobbly steps every now and then, but as far as full on walking, we've got a ways to go. We've moved y'all to the big bathtub and that has become a full on disaster. It's starting to get better, but we're nowhere near it not being a full contact sport.

You've been on an airplane, you've visited your grandparents, you've eat macaroni and cheese and you've shown that you are, in fact, my children and took to ice cream and made me proud. You've both got a mess of curly hair and enjoy waking up at 5:45am every morning to watch the news.

Next month is "the big one" and I don't know if I am even remotely ready for it. You've changed our lives so much, but in a big way, it feels like you were just what had been missing.

September 3rd.

Happy birthday!

I feel like today is the most perfect day to reflect on our last visit. As soon as I found out I would be going to San Diego at the end of July for work, I knew I wanted to come see you. No, not wanted, would be going to see you. I called the PR company organizing the junket and said "Hey, I’ll be finding my own ride to the resort—I have an incredibly important stop to make first."

In the cab on the way, I was looking at the window, already crying and emotional because when I walked outside there wasn't a white Chevy Corsica with a red MADD ribbon waiting at the curb. You weren't there to pick me up like you had been for the 16 years I came to see you—including all those summers I flew solo, feeling like the most grown up grown up ever. I remember looking out the window once we got close to Bonita trying to remember what looked familiar. Was the Longs still there we went to the day after Christmas every year to buy cheap wrapping paper and hard candies? How about that Carl's Junior's where I begged for chicken stars every single day. Some of the places we passed seemed familiar, but I’m not sure. None of it mattered though, because we weren’t going to 3129 Calle Abajo.

When we finally got to the cemetery, the office was closed, so I wasn't exactly sure where you were. Then all of a sudden, as I was ready to give up, I just had this feeling I needed to look at one more section. And there you were.

I think I actually crumbled to the ground in sobs. I miss you. I miss you everyday—especially now, even more now, that I am a mother.

 

Things have been screwed up a little and I so could have used a big hug and some Carl's Junior's. Have you help me talk it out a little. I really have no idea what I am doing. None.

I spent a few minutes hanging out with you and PopPop before I had to go fix my makeup and mingle with our biggest advertiser.

It wasn't enough time.

I don't think I’ll ever have enough time. I miss you.

Happy birthday! I hope Heaven is throwing you one hell of a party. I can't wait to join you. We can watch Deal or No Deal and I'll get you Taco Bell, no I still won't eat that crap!, and you can tell me about how exactly you juggled being a working mom—I should have asked you those kinds of questions because I don’t know if I am doing it right. I hope you're proud. I miss you. I love you.

 

Fourth of July 2015

How has July 4th already come and gone? I have no idea what happened to my summer. Last summer was a blackout blur because I was just so pregnant and so hot. And so pregnant. 

I really wanted to have a great summer. I had grand designs of reading a ton of books and enjoying the weather and grilling out constantly and you get the picture. Instead, it's been a slower, yet still faster somehow, summer. The babies are getting into everything and life is starting to change so much.

I was thrilled when Mark said he wanted to go to Atlanta for the Fourth and hang out with my family. Okay, wanted is a stretch. He said he would go to Atlanta…anyway; we all loaded into the car on Friday morning and headed to my mom's. 

We hung out with my momma and stepdad for a day and a half and then headed to my dad and stepmom's for a day and a half.

We went to the huge annual blowout bbq at St. Ives on the evening of the Fourth (both my parents and Kristen & Charles are members there) and enjoyed a delicious buffet, carnival games and the fireworks show.

I was really apprehensive about taking Fitz & Alex to fireworks at three days shy of 9 months, but like they been doing since birth, they surprised me.

Fitz absolutely LOVED the bright colors in the sky and staying up late. He didn't mind anything a bit and sacked out almost immediately once we got home. I don’t think his big cousin Anna Carolina sharing her hot dog bun with him hurt his mood either!

Alex was a different story. He really liked the fireworks at first, snuggling with his Aunt Kristen, but then the booms starting getting louder and he definitely got scared. He didn't appreciate staying up past his bedtime either and had a helluva time falling asleep when we got back and proceeded to wake up at 3am needing a little more momma lovin'.

 After a long night, we hit the pool on Sunday before heading home. The little plastic pool I got for our front yard wasn't a huge success, so I didn't know how the babies would do in an actual pool.

No, that rash guard isn't a baby crop top... who knew Squeaks would get a big ole belly?!

At first they both hated it. Then the sun started to shine aggressively and suddenly the pool water wasn't quite so cold.

By the time we left, they were two happy little clams, loving when their big cousins swam up to them and when they got to kick their little legs and pretend like they were swimming.

 I, of course, was the only one to get sunburned.

Eight Months

**Only a week late because #mommaworks**

 Babies. OH MY GOODNESS. You are quickly becoming NOT my babies. You're such an active set of tiny people. You babble at each other constantly, and lately when you notice one another you visibly brighten. It's actually the most precious thing I've ever seen—and I know each time you do it I have the cheesiest grin on my face.

Mealtime is still your favorite time and you LOVE trying to help feed yourself. Your Daddy and I absolutely hate when the baby hands try to assist, but I also kinda think it is funny when your Daddy gets frustrated. In your highchairs after breakfast is usually your favorite time to "play" with each other, which usually just entails scream-talking at one another and flinging your arms about.

You both love vanilla custard and juice. We're still working on the sippy cup, you can't quite figure that ish out yet. Nearly every day you wear a polo with shorts to school and I can almost close my eyes and see two young adults in polos and shorts rushing out the door in the morning.

You are starting to have so much fun playing with your half brother and sister. They are very patient with you and you have fun watching them, trying to scoot over to them.

Fitzy, you're still a fuss budget and the chunkier baby. You're pretty good on the size portion chart: (20% for weight, 25% for height) but you got a big ole head (75%). You're over 17 lbs. now and you just feel like a ton of bricks: What happened to my 6 lb. newborn??? You have exactly one tooth that has cropped up on the bottom. It hasn't made it's full appearance yet, but it has broken through the skin—another sign you're a big boy. Your hair is officially out of control and like your Momma, the humidity does nothing for you. Some times I seriously consider putting a dab of product in it, and then I remember you aren't on Toddlers and Tiaras.

Alex, you're still Shrimpy, but you're catching up quick! You had some set backs with the worst case of diaper rash ever thanks to a little stomach bug. Seriously, you had a blistery butt: I felt so horrible for you. But, Al Pal, you've rebounded from the rash (sorta #godblessresinol) and you're on the growth chart! Still in the 2nd and 3rd percentiles, but hey, that's better than the 1st!! You're clocking in at a hefty 15ish lbs. You've gone from a single curl to full on wavy top, so who knows if you'll end up with the Fitz style afro or not.

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Photos by the insanely talented Shelby Berry

Looking Back On Motherhood

Motherhood has been an incredible, insane and just plain tiring adventure. The entire time I was pregnant I was too busy trying to make it through the day, to really reflect on the magnitude of change that was about to occur. I didn’t realize the full scope of how I would change. Most may not know, my husband Mark has two children from his first marriage, so when we married, I instantly became a mom of sorts.

My wonderful stepdaughter Virginia is about to turn 13 and is a mix of sass and sports, which I fear isn’t going to change anytime soon. We instantly bonded over nail polish and making fun of her dad, so "stepmoming" her is "easy." Remind me of that when she’s 16 and trying to play me off her dad to get a curfew extension.

My stepson Charles, he's eight, and was a little tougher of a sell. He liked me fine once I started buying him fireworks, of course, because what little boy doesn't like to play with sparklers?, but gradually over the last year, he's shown me that I've got a long road ahead. Boys are a completely different world to me. I don't inherently love bugs and getting dirty. Baseball isn't exactly my sport. But thankfully, I've got "like the coolest job" when I show him machinery videos and let him wear my hard hat when he wants to go on an adventure in the backyard. Never mind this latest adventure was during his little brothers' Baptism party when 40 people were in our front yard...

Because of Virginia and Charles, I had a taste of what motherhood would be like, but these past seven months have shown me I really have no idea what I'm in for. Every other weekend we've got a full house, and while it used to stress me, I now often join in on the trash talking during Mario Kart racing.

I still feel defeated on a weekly basis by two 15 lb. people, but when little hands grab on to me those feelings usually go away. These past seven months have taught me more than I ever thought they would, and made me miss my mom more than I ever imagined. Atlanta isn't that far from Montgomery, but at 2 a.m. when one of my boys won't stop crying and I am so completely lost as to what could be wrong with him, well, Atlanta might as well be Africa.

All it takes is one look at Charles to realize that the nights may be long, but the years are going to be short. One day, not to far from now, I will have to get two hard hats, so Fitz and Alex can don safety vests and hard hats while they adventure in the backyard—just like their big brother did.

Seven Months

Tiny loves, you are quickly becoming medium loves! We went to our fancy new pediatrician this month and we love him. Dr. Glover is going to take excellent care of us, and he even put up with Momma's insane overparenting of Alex. #malrohelicoptermom

You've both got giant heads compared to your bodies, both on the growth charts and in real life, but it's okay. You'll grow into the Anderson head—I think.

Fat Fitzy Baby, we probably should stop body shaming a seven month old, you are the most content little dude. You're just so chill, it is literally unbelievable, I have no idea where you got it from. Weighing in at a nice 16 lbs. your seventh month has been filled with food. And more food. And a complete afro. You're going to be my jolly giant and I am thrilled! You have the tendency to fight sleep the most but are the cuddliest when you finally do crash. Your curls are starting to get out of control and I can't wait to see what the humidity does to your hair...

Little Al Pal, you're the more inquisitive one and are constantly looking around, talking and trying to grab at things. You're my one to watch. One of your favorite things to do is watch Monde des Petites, and I swear if I have to hear "le fruits" one more time…I'll turn up the volume and watch you discover one of my favorite things, because I talk a big game about how absolutely annoying those French videos are at 6 a.m. when you're awake and I am not, but I love the idea of sharing the French language with you and your brother.

Ignore the death grip you've got on that yellow pillow,

 This month you also had your first group date, and it went as well as could be expected. Olivia didn't pass out any roses, but if she had, and I was a betting woman, I think Alex would have had the edge.

Celebrating Fitz & Alex: Their Sacrament of Baptism

 I must be nuts, because Saturday over 40 people packed into our little Pre-War cottage…Doesn't that make it sound fancy? I feel like it does…and we brunched and celebrated Fitz and Alex entering the Catholic Church.

After months of "putting it off," terrible, I know, I finally just booked it. Surrounded by love, Fitz and Alex received their very first sacrament!

The party was a blur. I know I had fun, and I think everyone else did as well, since we ran out of food and booze by about 3 p.m.

I knew the crowd we were inviting was a eatin' and drinkin' crowd, but sheesh, we killed a nugget tray, chicken salad tray and 14 bottles of champagne in three hours.

St. Therese, that idea to have both a candy bar for the little kids and a mimosa bar for the big kids was a great idea!

Gave everyone a lot of energy when it came time to get the glitter chalk out!

I ran around the night before and the morning of like a crazy person, and I am so, so, SO thankful my best friend from forever (and art school grad! and newly minted godmother!) was there to help. She did the most beautiful flower arrangements cobbled together from things purchased at Costco, Walmart and Winn Dixie.

I wasn't emotional like I thought I would be, and I wasn't as stressed as I thought I would be (during the party at least). I was completely at peace, and that 10000% has to do with my continued prayers to Mary's intersession for a successful sacrament and reception.

 Plus I had dove shaped cookies, so the Holy Spirit was on my side!

Maybe I have this mother thing down?

Maybe not.

I can't wait to share my faith, and our wonderful Catholic Church, with Fitz and Alex.

__________________________

Party details:

Invitations, menu cards, thank you cards: Shelby Berry

"Party Wares": cross confetti, mantle banner, plastic ware, napkins, balloons, etc.: Party City, Costco & Michaels

Serving pieces: My momma's stash!

Glittered champagne flutes: IKEA, with glittered stems of course!

Dove shaped cake pops: TK Cake Pops (they ship!)

Dove and Cross cookies: Ellen Hamilton (she ships!)

Chicken Salad Sandwich tray: Chicken Salad Chick

Chicken Nuggets: Chick Fil A

Fruit, Salad, Cheese: Costco

Candy Buffet: Party City & Fresh Market

**Photographs by the talented Shelby Berry**

Six Months

Babies. Holy goodness gracious. Six months ago, right this moment, I was a bowling ball completely horrified that I was about to deliver you. Horrified because I was so unsure of how this whole thing would work—you, me, your dad. There's been a lot of learning and a lot of mistakes, but thankfully, we're all still standing. For now. 

 

I remember when six months used to move at a turtle's pace, now it's like if I blink I've missed a week. You've grown and changed so much since we brought you home. Every day you continue to grow and change and scare the shit out of me. You've started grabbing each others hands and babbling at each other, like you just now realized your best friend is always just a few inches away.

You both are regular rollers now at school, but you can't quite seem to roll over for me. But that's a-okay. I'm not desperate to have you mobile. Rolling leads to crawling and crawling leads to college.

Fitzy, you're the chunky baby and while we haven't yet been to the doctor for your six month check up, I know you're packing in at a solid weight. You just FEEL heavier. You're a great eater and lately, after some struggles, you've become a great sleeper. You haven't cut any teeth yet, but you're super drooly and I know a tooth or two is on the way. You love to eat, and never, ever miss a meal. You're like a cartoon baby, you never stop smiling. Until recently, you had no interest in toys or books or anything, but now you are absolutely obsessed with a crinkly baby book your Grandma got you. Which reminds me that I'm the wrong kind of writer—who would have though four words was all it took to pen a best-seller.

Little Al Pal, you're getting chunkier every day and I just want to freeze you at this size. You're the most expressive thing on the planet. I mean, seriously, you throw side eye and smiles and everything in between. 12 hours with you can mean experiencing every emotion in the known world. You love playing with my old rag doll, Sally, and I am furiously searching for the boy version, Bobby. You're not the best sleeper, but lately you've been on a great streak! You don't have any teeth either, but I can definitely feel the ridges on your gums and I know they are coming.

You're the happiest babies on the block usually and I've taken to dragging you everywhere. So far, your favorite places to visit (besides school and Grandma's house) are Cloverdale Bottom Park, The A&P Courtyard and Aunt Jamie and Uncle Jeb's house.

Five Months

So, better late than never on this, as per usual boys. #mommaworks

Five months has absolutely FLOWN by! You're firmly eating baby purees and cereal. I'm so proud of you. Y'all constantly babble to anyone in ear shot. This month you both finally noticed each other and melted my heart! You now babble at one another and smile when you see each other. Sometimes you'll even hold hands. You love school and Miss Renae more than anything and we are so excited to have found that wonderful haven for y'all. You both absolutely love your big brother and he's pretty smitten too!

You really are the happiest babies I've ever seen. You get really mad sometimes, but you're just generally happy.

We just changed pediatricians (and didn't go this month) so I have no clue how long y'all are or how big. I weighted you by weighing myself and then with you each in my arms. I'm not sure that was the most accurate because there's no way in h-e-double-hockey-sticks Momma weights what the scale said...

Fitz, we've taken to calling you Fitzy and you're still just as Fuss Budgety as ever. Though lately, you throw a lot of side eye at Alex. Which I find hilarious but I probably shouldn't encourage. You're definitely a better eater—dude you never, ever miss a meal. You get so frustrated when you try to roll over and can't seem to make it work. You love your door jumper, but only in small increments. After about 25 minutes you are so.over.it. You give the biggest and best smiles. Your hair is starting to get a little out of control, with weird tufts of curls on the side. Your first haircut is quickly approaching I think!

Alex, you're still my sweet little Squeaks. You eat a little slower, a little more mindfully than your brother. Squash is NOT your friend—at all. I haven't seen you that upset with your stomach since the untreated malro days. You love pears, it's probably from my sweet tooth you've inherited. You're the sweetest boy. Still smaller than Fitzy, but you're catching up, quickly. You and Charles have totally hit it off this month. I think it's mainly because you both are fascinated by moving pictures: TV, computer games, iPad games, iPhone games, you name it, you and Cha love it. It's so odd, but I would swear on my life you actually watch TV when we sit you up on the couch.