New year, newish me

I realized during my hiatus from this slice of internet that I missed sharing myself. It's funny, as a full-time writer, I cranked out more stories in 2016 than I have ever before (final count isn't in yet but it was probably close to 40 full length features with at least 10 opinion pieces and at least 5 columns of other sorts) but my heart wasn't always in it. Perhaps that's why I let this little blog of mine slide. I felt like I was always "too busy" to ramble about my kitchen disasters or semi-unwieldy craft projects.

But if I am being honest, it's because I just got lazy and let everything else become more important. This slice of the internet is for me, and I would be lying if I didn't look back on some of the entries from when I was in college and laugh. The girl who wrote those had no idea where life would take her.

Perhaps that's why I am starting fresh.

I love my life. Not in a smug, I'm a better mother/wife/writer/friend/volunteer than you way, but in a very real I am content in my labels as mother, wife, writer, friend, volunteer way. Each and every day I wake up tired with an arthritic back and bad hips, but I feel decently happy to try to conquer my to-do list at home and at work.

2016 wasn't my best year. My marriage wasn't always social media perfect and I struggled. I really struggled in who I was and what I wanted in all aspects of my life. I like to think that mimicked the state of our country—some days were good, some days it was total hell in a hand-basket chaos.

I still struggle with who I am and what I want. But in this, effectively the first "real" day of 2017 I am starting fresh.

In a handful of days a new person will assume head of our country, and while he wasn't my pick, Lord god he wasn't my pick, I love our country and I am raising two children of my own and offering (sometimes unwanted) opinions on the raising of two more, so for all our sakes I hope he matures, grows and leads with love. I want the same things for my life in 2017: I hope I mature, I grow and I lead my life with love.

My intentions for this year are simple and follow along with my desire to just be "better." I intend to show myself more grace, try to retain more patience with Fitzgerald and Alexander, finally take 500 pure barre classes, read more, say a rosary with Fitz and Alex once each week and stick to sharing more of my true self in everything I do (at work, at home and on this blog).

I'm going to share my kitchen disasters. (And successes, there are lots of successes!) I am going to blather about sales I want to shop and the drive-myself-insane projects I do with the twins and my stepkids. I am going to blog my books so I can hold myself accountable to the intention of "read more." It takes 21 days to form a habit, today is day one.