Flashback Friday

One of my closest, and sweetest, friends posted this graphic on Facebook last week and it got me thinking about just how true the words were. Like disturbingly, uncannily, reach into your soul, true.

 After E posted it, we started g-chatting about just how weird life ends up happening—a year ago she didn't know her now husband; three years ago I didn't know mine. It is funny how things work out. And, even more importantly, it's funny how they don't.

After our conversation, I went rooting through the archives of this little ole blog of mine. My, how things have changed around here. I found myself reading the post I wrote the week I turned 21. How proud of my accomplishments I was, yet completely aware of the fact that I really had done nothing with my first year of being a twenty-something. I feel like that's how I could sum up the middle of my twenty-something life too. I'm so proud of my accomplishments over the last year, yet I am acutely aware that, compared to others, I've done nothing and I have nothing to complain about and everything to be grateful for.

Not that it is easy to remember that day in and day out. 

Plus, I just love this picture of me from a trip to Disney World with an old boyfriend.

Note: I still have both those shorts and the bag. Classic white never goes out of style right?

Currently (Vol. III)

It's been a crazy few weeks, and I know it will only get crazier. So in an effort to unscramble my brain a bit, I'm going to try to be better about keeping up with a weekly Currently. post. Who knew that babies required so much attention and details and to do listing and don't forget this listing, BEFORE THEY EVEN WERE BORN. 

 

Thinking about: Still on the redoing my house thing. Though this weekend I got to start on a very special room: Fitz and Alex's nursery! There are still oh so many things to decide, and it's been frustrating. It continues to be frustrating, thanks to this thing called a budget, BUT my Momma and I found some fabrics this weekend that I fell in love with, so it's slowly but surely coming together. Even Mark approves of the ikat print for the curtains, saying, "Those things sort of look like arrowheads, so I like it."

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Reading: I am being a little hard on myself, but I did not reach my June goal of reading three books. After I finished Summer Blowout, which I loved by the way, I sort of stalled. I worked my way through a few magazines, but didn't pick up a book. I found myself being overwhelmed by the Fitz and Alex Notebook of Things to Take Care Of. This weekend though, I started reading The Bad Behavior of Belle Cantrell by Loraine Despres and am loving it. Though as I was reading last night I realized that parts of the book seem really familiar, and I think I might have already read it. But I'm not 100% sure, so I want to finish it out. The story is definitely a perfect one for a sassy Southerner like myself. The historical fiction aspect of the story drew me in with page one, I  recommend it wholeheartedly!

Listening to: Still enjoying some silence and the occasional dog bark.

Watching: Suits. If you don't watch, I suggest you start. Immediately. Here, I'll give you a teaser.

Thankful for: Many, many things always, but this week I am especially thankful for my sweet friend Shelby who took these beautiful pictures of me that helped me "share my secret" last week. 

 

Meet me! (an ALWB Foodie Friday contributor)

1. Name & Birthday: My name is Jessica Johnson Anderson (though that last part is a totally new thing!) and I am a February baby! February 4^th to be exact.

2. How long have you been blogging? I've been at it on and off since 2009.

3. What is your favorite part of being a blogger and why? As a writer and editor I don't always get to write exactly what I want to—don't get me wrong, I love my job. In fact, I have a writer's dream publishing job. Sorta. But, I also want to share recipes, DIY projects I've roped my stepdad or husband into helping me with and little pieces of my heart. Having my blog has allowed me to do that.

 4. Why did you start blogging? It was actually a requirement in one of my college English classes! And over the years, I've kept it going.

5. Tell us a little about your family. Well, I've got this shiny new husband, Mark, and he's pretty neat, when he's not snoring of course. Together, we have four rescue furkids: Walcott, 7ish, a German Shorthaired Pointer that is the clumsiest dog I've ever seen; Grace Kelly, 9ish, a Chihuahua mix with one helluva personality; Alberta, 4ish, a Pitbull mix that I found after the tornado in Tuscaloosa on 4-27-11 and her littermate, Sipsey. We also have a grey rabbit, Smokey Rabbie the Rabbit, she sort of has an identity crisis going on with her name. Mark has two children from his previous marriage, Virginia, 11, and Charles, 8, and while they aren't exactly my kids, they are pretty awesome and we all have a lot fun.

6. Where are you from? I'm a Georgia peach, through and through—born and raised in Atlanta, Ga. where both sets of my parents still live. However, when I moved to Tuscaloosa for my freshman year of college (and then stayed for a few more years…) I knew Alabama would become my home as well. I currently reside in the Heart of Dixie, our state's capital.

7. What is your greatest achievement? Ohh, this is a toughie. I think it might have to be my move to Montgomery. That was an adventure from start to finish. Not many people can say they moved to a city where they literally knew not a single person and in three years have some good friends and a husband!  

8. If you could live anywhere where would it be and why? Paris. Hands down. Because why the hell not.

 9. Favorite Movie? The American President, no contest. I can recite pretty much every single line of dialogue.

10. Favorite Music/Song? I like country; I like pop; I like rap; I like rock. I love the Grateful Dead, thanks to my Dad's influence. I’ll pretty much listen to anything and enjoy it, with the exception of Gospel or the Praise/Contemporary Christian type music—just not my cup of tea.

11. What are your hobbies? I love to read, do Pure Barre, craft, hang out with my family, shop, walk my dogs and travel. I really love to travel.

12. What inspires you? The women I call my friends and family. No two of them are exactly alike, and without them, I'd be half the person I am today.

13. Favorite Color? Pink. Or turquoise. Or crimson and white. Or black. Anything but orange, really.

14. What is your dream job? The one I've got? Honestly, I don’t know. I would love to finish my PhD, work for a publication and teach every now and then.

15. What are you looking forward to most in 2014? Christmas! It will be Mark and I's first actual Christmas day together and I just have a feeling it will be magical. Other than that, we've already gone on our "big" vacation for the year, so I'm looking forward to planning the 2015 edition in a few months!

13 Things I Want To Pass On

When Elite Daily’s twitter tweeted out this article yesterday I immediately jumped at it. As the “Aunt Dooter” to a nephew and two nieces, I thought it would be a nice mental break from a really tough workday. But I was so grossly disappointed. 

Yes, there were funny parts, where I pictured sharing my own stories with the little lives I hold dear, and there were serious parts, where I thought about how amazing it is to actually think one day one of these little lives might need me, actually need me, overall I was left wanting more. I don’t know why, as this letter was clearly intended to be vague-but-sort-of-direct in that way the internet loves so much.

The author gives a few main things that are important, what she wants her new little nephew to know.

1. "Yes, girls are pretty, but they are people."
Wynners: the prettiest girl in the world is your Momma, when dealing with very other pretty girl in the world think about how you deal with your Momma and then, only then, should you speak or act.
SGDub and AC: the prettiest girls are the happiest and nicest. Don’t be buttholes to others based on your (or their) looks.

2. "Visit your grandparents, even when you don’t want to."
Learn from Aunt Dooter and call Honey Mom more often than I do.

3. "Hug your mommy—even when hugging her is no longer cool."
If you don’t want to hug, don’t feel the pressure. Watch TV together, sit outside together, just do something together. Make sure you recognize just how completely and totally awesome your Mommas are.

4. "Make mistakes, and make up for them."
Try to be better than I was; than I am. Wynners, watch out for AC and SGDub, we’re a family for a reason.

5. "Have faith in something."
Have faith in God. Go to Church. Be grateful you were raised in religious homes, but don’t let Church or God make you feel less than.
Wynners and AC: have faith that one day South Carolina will again win the SEC Championship in football.
SGDub: have faith in the fact that you will forever have been an Alabama fan from the beginning of the best time to be an Alabama fan.

6. "Get lost once in awhile, but don’t forget how to get home."
Actually, don’t do this. Don’t feel like you have to “wander.” Be who you are, no matter what it is. If you like being home, be home. If you like traveling and going away, go. Don’t let other people tell you how to be. (Except of course your Momma. Always let your Momma tell you how to be.)

7. "Brag when you beat your daddy at one-on-one, but don’t think that it will happen again."
Sure, play outside from sun up to sundown and let the old man win every now and then. But SGDub and AC, when you’re tired and you want to go inside and play dolls, don’t worry, your Daddys will too.

8. "It’s okay to feel hate, but don’t lean on it forever."
Hate no one, ever, except Auburn and Clemson. Realize that hate is just a crutch. Be above it.

9. "Ask for help. You’ll need it."
Be independent but know when to draw the line.

10. "Invest in a belt."
Luckily, y’all won’t be allowed out of the house in terrible fashion choices.

11. "Mind your manners…and your words."
You were raised right, act like it.

12. "Your mom and dad were pretty cool—and they still are."
….the stories I’ve got for when you’re older. Oh good gracious. I promise to share!

13. "You probably won’t get what you deserve, so fight harder for it."
You each deserve the world. Your parents are going to make damn sure you’ve got the best chance of getting it. Remember that always. Be thankful for that always.

Five on Friday

I intended to get back in the blogging saddle this week, if only for posterity’s sake, but then I had one of the worst sicknesses of my adult life. Now, to be fair I’ve only been an “adult” for a hot minute, but woof. For almost five straight days I was running a fever of about 100 to 101.

I didn’t blog like I should’ve because I could barely muster enough energy to breathe. My bad. But now I’m back to breathing and blogging.

Secret’s out: I read Mommy blogs. Okay, I read like three. And for the most part they are women I know (or my family knows) in real life. So when a few of them “link up” to The Good Life and the Five On Friday, I’ve always thought, “I need to do that! What a good way to list random thoughts for the week.” So here I am, joining in on the fun.

One: Happy Birthday America!

In a cruel twist of fate, I started feeling better Wednesday. Just time for a wet July 4^th. A day off/holiday where I had no plans, did practically nothing and took a nap in the middle of the day. It was awesome and a little sad at the same time.  I wore blue tempos, a red Chicago Blackhawks tshirt and cleaned my kitchen. That’s American right?

Two: Welcome to the Real World

I bought a car last Friday. A car. A car! I own something worth real money. It’s a surreal feeling. It also needs gas, which I’m quickly learning, in an SUV ain’t cheap. After not driving for a few weeks, being able to drive, and actually owning the car!, is a glorious feeling. Somehow I have managed to not take a photo of said car. How very unmidtwentysomething of me. Whoops.

Three: Back to the Barre

With sickness, traveling, working at night and no real wheels to speak of, my Pure Barre attendance was slim to none for June. July shall change all of that. It’s back to the Barre for this seat. Lord do I need it. Though the thought of going back to three and four classes a week after basically being completely gone for a month has me terrified.

Four: Decorating (or Attempting to Decorate) My House

I love my house. It’s by no means a dream house, but for right now, for this point of life, it’s perfect. I’m by no means the interior genius, I mean designer, that others in my family are, cough Mrs. K. J. Williams cough, so I’m scouring Pinterest for ideas. Having a whole house to decorate and a limited budget has me pretty overwhelmed.

Five: Projects for the Weekend

One of my dearest friends is having a baby girl reallll soon. I keep stockpiling things Charlotte will one day receive from Aunt Jess, but I never get around to sending them. I also have my little sis’ wedding gift I never sent. I’m making it a point to head to the post office this weekend. I’m also planning on attempting to make a wreath for my front door and spray paint my front porch chairs. I think I’ve bit off more than I can chew at this point. Story of my life.

Monday Medley

This weekend was a big one for little ole me. Friday night. I spent some time with some of my favorite people in the world, doing some ridiculous things. (Like wearing a pink lipstick and a purple shirt.)(I also need to be more cognizant of the giant bar cups that always find themselves in my pictures.)

 I found a perfect place to live. Cross your fingers my references check out!

I threw my back out again. So I am back to walking at a 75 degree angle. It's not a cute as it sounds.

I added a movie to my Top 5 Favorites list: Midnight in Paris. If you haven't seen it, rent it immediately. Use Redbox code BREAKROOM and you'll get it fo free. Aiii, what a bright Monday.

 Finally, I bought this Saturday and I literally cannot get over how much I love it. Can't wait to wear it later this week with white denim as it FINALLY feels like Spring down here. (pssst, no code needed, you get an extra 40% off the marked price!)  

Celebrate the best thing about Mondays: go getcha a Moe's burrito for $5 with Moe's Monday. 

Lovin' Bloglovin'

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Please?

As I am redesigning the blog and trying to make myself accountable to posting and keeping up with my increasingly impossibly busy life, (if only to show my children that one day Momma was a hot mess in a small dress size!) as well as make some blogland friends I encourage you to follow me on Bloglovin'. Mainly because I have a big fat 0 on it and it KINDA makes me sad.

Thanks in advance.

FLASH SALE

For the last little while I have be helping spread the word about a new jewelry line based in Boston: Samantha Faye.

Mainly, I drum up sales, try to place product in stores and maintain the line’s Pinterest! (So, follow it if you don’t already!)

I have quite a few samples I totally love.

Yes, that is in fact a rose gold plated pig

  They are perfectly wonderful. Delicate. Great addition to an outfit—I’ve gotten into wearing one and a scarf for some added pizzazz to a “basic” outfit. I rocked the elephant on my birthday with a string of pearls. I like mixing the unexpected and SF allows me to do that!

 If you don’t believe me, check Caitlin’s blog about her experience with the SF wishbone!

Anyway, for this week only, March 11 through the 17, I will be hosting a FLASH SALE. Yes, use the code Jessica30 at checkout and you’ll get 30% off your order! 

Seriously, you can’t go wrong with any of these charms. 

Lost Causes/Hopeless Cases

Thanksgiving night I was feeling overly full of food and drink, football and my family. As I mentioned a few days ago, I was also feeling a little blue. While I didn't wallow in my blueness on Thanksgiving I definitely noticed it. As I went to shut off my bedside lamp and get a few hours of sleep, I met my Momma at 6am to go shopping, I noticed a medal hanging from my lamp.

For those that are unaware, in the Catholic tradition medals of saints are worn to show a special closeness. For example, when I was confirmed I was given a medal of St. Therese of Lisieux, who is my personal patron saint. Medals of saints can also be worn of saints you feel a special connection, or request their special guidance. For example, St. John Neumann is the patron saint of Catholic schools, so a Catholic schoolteacher may wear his medal.

Anyway, dangling from my lamp was St. Jude Thaddeus' medal. I put it on that night have only taken it off to shower.

St. Jude is the patron saint of hopeless cases and lost causes.

It seems fitting.

St. Jude, Pray for me that I may receive the consolation and help of heaven in my necessities, tribulations and sufferings and that I may praise God with you and all the elect forever. Intercede for us all, gracious, brother Saint Jude, and pray for us to the Lord our God in our daily toil and our necessities. Amen.

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An Open Letter to PR Geeks

Hello PR “Guru”, this “Editor” speaking. Yes, the one you BCC’d your press release to a few moments ago. I’ve got a few quick questions for you…

 1. You sent this release to an email address with a persons name in it. Don’t you think sending “Hello Editor” instead of “Hello Jessica” is a little, what’s the word I’m looking for? Tacky? Rude? Stupid? Annoying? Not-paying-attention?

2. I am an editor of a magazine that publishes articles relating to XYZ. Does your release deal with XYZ? No, not even in the slightest? THEN WHY AM I READING IT?

3. Your release is giving people the opportunity to buy things? Cool! Are you going to give one away to my readers? No? Then why would I be writing about your thingamajig? We don’t exactly run product reviews of stuff we’ve never seen.

4. If I haven’t contacted you within a week, it’s safe to say I’m not interested. No need for any sort of follow up. Save me five seconds of deleting, kthanksbye.

I know these questions seem obvious harsh, but honestly? I get annoyed sorting through all these releases. For every one I want/need/do something about, I get thirty.

Bonus points go to the PR geeks that actually do their homework and our visit social media channels/sites and actually tailor your releases, emails and comments to what we actually do. It doesn’t go unnoticed. You people that don’t? Yeah, that doesn’t go unnoticed either. 

You're doing it wrong.

Word of the Day Wednesday

Today’s word is chach. It has quickly become one of my favorite, go to words. And after numerous  people have asked me what it means, and basked in the glory of what a wonderful (and underused) insult it is, I’ve decided to share.

Definition: Noun—A boy/manchild/dude/bro who attempts to exhibit a cool and popular look but generally comes across as either an asshole and/or a total loser. Plural: chachs, chaches.

Example: David Pollack, in every facet of his existence is a total chach.

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Adjective, adverb— dumb, idiotic act committed by a boy/manchild/dude/bro

Example: "This conversation is just unbelievable, that was a total chach move." 

Yes, because this guy could be a fitness model.

My exboyfriends are awesome examples! If you want more, let me know!

Verb—to unjustifiably escape a commitment, similar to "bitching/bitched out," not my favorite use of the word, but acceptable.

Behavioral Patterns: Tends to bitch out when extreme situations present themselves. Provokes animosity in more enlightened individuals. (Are you getting the picture of who a chach is, yet?)

Special Abilities: Being able to piss off peers in close proximity by doing absolutely nothing. (You’ve got a chach in your mind now, don’t you?)

***Thanks to the folks at Urban Dictionary for the assist on perfectly articulating this phenomenal word. Also, according to them, and me, chach is a very, very mild curse word and could/can be used in public. I know I do. 

Until next time, I’ll be avoiding stalking my favorite chach (also known as my exboyfriend) on his various social media outlets.

Friday Favorites

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 My dear sweet friend Caitlin, who is amazing and just all around a light in my life, does a series on her blog called “Friday Favorites.” (Which is where I got the image, I mean, let’s be serious I am nowhere near that illustrator inclined, but I digress.)

Our company had “Thankful Thursday” yesterday, and it made me realize how lucky I am to do what I do. I complain a lot about it, but at the end of the day, I am lucky to have the job that I do. Is it my favorite thing? No, but it’s work. And it is a work I enjoy, most of the time. Being in the thankful spirit has also made me realize how many things I consider my “favorite.” How many people I am lucky to call “favorites.” But I guess that is another post for another time.

Here’s what I have been favoriting this week:

My obsession with Maury Povitch grows with each day. Due to popular demand I have stopped live tweeting the episodes, but I think I just might bring that back. Life might be rough, but HEY!, at least you aren't 35 taking a DNA test to find out if your husband is really your brother/cousin/sister. God, I love Americans.

This past Saturday I was in Death Valley alongside my favorite Alabama fan, my father, to watch the Tide roll. I've been lucky enough to sit in the stands of some pretty incredible Alabama football games: Iron Bowl 2008, SEC 2009, National Championship 2012. This experience was like none other. Roll damn tide.

Decorating for Holidays is something my Momma passed down to me. I've started decorating my little bar area for each of the Holidays. By and large Thanksgiving is my least favorite of the choices, but I do think it came together quite nicely. I just need some apple pie moonshine to really complete the look...

The Boobie Bungalow

Originally I wanted this to be up Saturday but "life" got in the way…and by life I mean sleeping for like 17 hours straight and then dragging my butt to work.

For my job I travel, a lot, to seemingly random locales. (Why can’t people log in places like New York City or Southern California?) I find myself in the swamp land of south Georgia, the hills of Mississippi, the flat land of Arkansas. Discovering dear ole Dixie has really been a high point for me and my sense of adventure just seems to keep growing. Then I went to a place called Louisville, Ky. for a lawn and garden tradeshow…and woof.

The four days I spent in Louisville were something straight out of a movie. First example, the eight hour car ride there: did you know there is a strip joint south of Nashville called the Boobie Bungalow. No? Me neither. But google it, I promise you won’t be disappointed. Myself, the house’s web guru (a 23 year old Baptist youth minister) and my beloved be-moustached coworker in his mid fourties with a love of all things ironic and creepy found it hilarious. Not only did a twenty-minute conversation, inside of a rented Dodge minivan, ensue about the Boobie Bungalow but for the remainder of the trip the Boobie Bungalow was discussed. As in, “Oh wow, that chick looks like a reject from the Boobie Bungalow.” 

German "booth babe,"  definitely a loaner from TBB.

The tradeshow had sponsored concerts each night. Of course for the open bar concert Kansas played. I had to DD. For the big concert with Eli Young Band we still had press seats but not an open bar. This was the night I chose to drink…to the complete jerk that took my credit card from the Hard Rock Louisville: you really suck. I hope an entire army got completely blitzkrieged on the $250+ you spent in one night at a bar, where wells were like $4.50. Assclown.

Enjoying while he could. 

In my line of work I write about some pretty heavy machinery. Machinery that costs upwards of $250,000 a piece. I’m not usually allowed to touch said machinery. See also: said machinery cuts down trees and I would rather not be responsible for that kind of thing. I can see the news item now, “Little logging reporter causes fatal accident killing herself and three others in El Dorado, Ark.”

 BUT, I also write about machinery that is a little more run of the mill consumer friendly. For example, this MSRP $599 Lithium Ion battery powered Oregon self-sharpening chainsaw. I got to run it while Dan my be-mustached coworker, the VP of Oregon, and the product manager for Oregon chainsaws watched me. I liked it…a lot.

Please notice this awk part of my hair.

Oh and then there was the riding commercial grade lawnmower. This puppy sure is a beaut. MSRP $7,999. (Why did they let me drive that thing I’ll never know.) I got her to top out at about 3 MPH. My friend riding along is the product manager for the Ariens family of companies ZTR riders. (Yes, all this power equipment jargon is…well, it is what it is. But as my dear friend Brian always says, fake it til ya make it. Even I don’t really understand fully what the jargon all means.) This, y’all, is living.

I can honestly say that pure elation on my face is not faked. I had a damn good time.

#posiweek

Today is just one of those days.

I sit in my cubical and think of the ever-growing to-do list. Nothing seems to go right, and everything seems to be falling into place.

As a writer sometimes inspiration comes. Sometimes I stare at the wall. The last little while has been seemingly never ending. I blinked and it was October. Granted, I was out of town on a story-gathering trip for seven days. But still was it not just the 4^th of July? Story-gathering trips are always so fun for me, but they usually knock me down a bit. This past jaunt was no different. I covered over 2,200 miles. Four states. Seven different companies. Loggers, timber processers and foresters, oh my!

I’m so lucky to have the opportunity to meet with guys (and their lady counterparts) at the end of dirt roads that are really making a difference in our world. Don’t get what I mean? Don’t support the logging industry?

TRY WIPING IT WITH A PINECONE THEN.

But I digress. Some big things are happening around little 1213, and I am excited for what’s in store. Things aren’t firm yet, but I will more than likely be going back to school in Fall 2013. I couldn’t have found a more perfect program for me and cannot wait to bury my nose in a textbook again. Could I be anymore of a dork? Probably, but oh well. I love certain elements of school and cannot wait to get back into an English classroom. Master’s of Liberal Arts program, lookout!

This past story-gathering trip lead me to some awesome places, which really means lots of awesome treasures were loaded into the back of a Ford hatchback and made their way from Mississippi/Arkansas/Louisiana/Tennessee to Montgomery. I have so many ideas for the things I found. I keep telling myself I am going to post all my projects up here, and then never seem to find the time. Well, next week will be the time. It’s therapeutic for me to do my little crafts and what better platform to showcase them?

It’s also about time I bought myself a chest of drawers/bedroom dresser. But that’s being held off another month because I desperately need to chunk some money into the new computer fund. Plus the holidays are coming up. But again, I digress.

One of my absolute favorite people in the entire world is Brian Oliu. Writer, comedian, all around stand up man. Oh and did I mention my saving grace this last year? (…and probably years to come) He has started a social media campaign called #posiweek. Each day he has postings designed to uplift the spirit, make you smile, and just all around warm your heart. Which, honestly, who doesn’t need that every now and again?

Seeing these posts made me want to be positive about myselflifethings. Difficult, given that for the first four days of this week I’ve battled a terrible head cold. But each time I saw one of the #posiweek tweets/statuses I saw myself smile. I sure hope that the #posiweek stays with me into tonight, as we all watch or in my case don’t watch the VP debate, and into the weekend, where I welcome to Montgomery one of my best friends from college. It’s a good week y’all, it’s #posiweek.

Sorry, bro.

I love it for so many reasons. My twins are about the sweetest things in the world. They are more afraid of you than you are of them, Sip especially. Today, just for me, push yourself to think outside of a stereotype perpetuated by Michael Vick and people, I use the term people loosely, like him, that don't see the personality inside each animal. You won't be sorry you did. If you still can't understand what I mean then, frankly, you're doing it wrong.

Yes, I am sensational. At times. Maybe?

Last night’s episode of Bachelorette taught me so many things.

Like how, given a set o’ steamy kisses in exotic locations, and a fun day on the racetrack, Arie’s super skinny tie in Charlotte night 1 can be forgiven.

 Or how I really don’t use the word sensational enough. Though, that was more the men in my life don’t call me sensational enough. Such a great word, sensational, especially when using it to describe the object of your affection. I am pretty sure I would melt on the spot if someone crushingly handsome looked at me unsolicited said, “Jess, you are sensational.” ***Bonus points would be available if he said it when I felt I looked a mess, or was rocking a giant Daddy sized tshirt and running shorts. 

I’m big fan of the show, and if you follow me on twitter you might notice that I am a complete child of the 21sy century when it comes to my Monday nights. I am simultaneously texting with some of my best friends and my Momma, and keeping up with some of my favorite snarky Twitter accounts (@POSSESSIONISTA, @jenniferweiner to name a couple), all while watching the drama unfold.

Momma and I just doing what we do best.

Monday’s are my least favorite day of the week work wise, do you know how hard it is to pretend to be productive on a Monday? Especially when you work with three men that are always trying to freeze you to death!! But I digress. There is something about Monday nights that put a spring in my step, even on the roughest of days. The clock hits 4:45 and I bust out of my cube on a mission. I make myself a fabulous dinner, indulge in a few adult bevies and settle in.

I always wondered what my post-grad life would be like. How would I mesh my college self, which may or may not have had a little too much ridiculousness on the reg, with a more serious, working girl mentality. Oddly enough, Bachelorette last night showed me exactly that.

Monday through Friday from 8:30(ish on most days) to 4:45(on the dot), I am Jessica Johnson associate editor with Hatton Brown Publishers, a little bit of woods and a whole lot of Barbie. I’m me, to a steal a one liner from that dreadful new Willow Smith song. I gchat with the important people in my life, check for daily posts from Suri’s Burn Book, Guy in Austin and some of my favorite Mommy-bloggers. But I also scan Market Watch for news on the EPA and tier 4 (google it), edit scientific garbage into readable information, tell the stories of sweet older men trying to develop businesses their sons and grandsons can be proud of. I mesh my ridiculousness with my seriousness.

I haven’t lost myself along the way. I may have a career now, but I’m still a little lost, drinking a little too much gin, staying up a little too late, and making excuses for why I never fit a long run in.

If I ever need clarification on how I would make it all work, I’ll remember the summer Emily was the bachelorette and how, just like Arie made that hoodie work for him, I made my life work for me.

#montgomerymove2012 and Strawberry Shortcake Muffins

Well, for the last three weeks, life, it has been a changin'.

  I moved.

 In a big way.

 To Montgomery, Ala. 

Where I knew the five people in my office and one other. Now, I've made all sorts of friends and settled in quite nicely. There have been the growing pains that one can always expect when, well, DRASTICALLY changing your life. Work has been fine, and I will be going on my first business trip this week: Mississippi! I'll be conducting some interviews alongside one of our other writers, in addition to conducting a few on my own! I've been doing all kinds of projects around the house and cannot wait to show them off! One thing I have started doing was making more and more Pinterest things. Today was no different.

 I tried this: Strawberry Shortcake Muffins! They were amazingly well, except as the original blog denotes unless using silicon or foil, the muffins stick. I'll get the official word tomorrow when my taste testers are given part of the batch, but until then.... (bear with me I've never done a step by step post before. But, I go a new toy at work, a Canon Rebel T3i so I'm OBSSESSED with playing with it!) I have copied Katie over at the Dashing Dish's instructions with my own modifications.

Ingredients:

2 1/2 cup Oats (old fashioned kind, not quick cooking)

1 cup Plain low fat greek yogurt

2 Eggs

3/4 cup Sugar

1 1/2 tsp Baking powder

1/2 tsp Baking soda

1 1/2 cup Strawberries, diced, and patted dry  (optional 1/2 cup strawberries, diced to place on top of muffins)

Half of a fresh lemon, squeezed for juice

Method:

Place all of the ingredients (except the strawberries) in a blender or food processor, and blend until oats are smooth.  

Pour mixture into a medium sized bowl, and stir in strawberries. 

Divide batter among cupcake liners, and bake for 15-20 minutes at 400 degrees.  

They look so perfect! Hope my taste testers think they are as good as I do! :)

Fail Friday

Yeah, you're doing it wrong....

Oh, you didn't see my PARKED car sitting next to yours? That's unfortunate for your insurance because I'm going to need that fixed. As soon as possible. With a rental car while it's in the shop.

Thanks.

Wistful Wednesday

Life seems to be spiraling toward a post-grad life I've successfully avoided for 5 full years now.

It's not that I just don't want to grow up—it's not having a plan. It's not knowing where I'm living in six weeks or what I'm going to be doing in six weeks. I love my parents, I really do. But moving in with them, jobless, after spending (roughly) $120,000 on this education? BARF.

So this Wednesday I'm not wordless; I'm wistful. Wistful for Freshman year where skipping class and day drinking wasn't such a big deal. Wistful for going out with Mallory every night of the week and not having a monster hangover.

I'm (almost)(sorta) ready to start my post-grad grown up life. Until then, Immma be a little wistful.

Cover Letters and Resumes

Job searchin'...every day. Yeah, I wish I had the energy to come up with a better pun. Something witty. But frankly, I'm done. I'm dead inside on the subject. As a writer I know this introduction sucks, but hang in there. It gets much, much better.

Endlessly trying to make oneself sound awesome can be a challenge. Cover letters are a struggle. If you think they aren't you are either A: Lying to yourself and/or others or B: A freak of nature. I've written my fair share of standard, boring cover letters, just as I have spent hours pouring over my resume and writing samples. What for? The hope I get picked from the pile.

A few weeks ago, my dear friend Caitlin posted the fifty hidden talents she has that aren't on her resume, which I loved. We began to make a list of a few of mine, these being my favorites:

4. Straight boss when it comes to drinking tequila shots.

18. Frequently bakes, and loves to share aforementioned baked goods.

23. Crafts like none other. Known among friends and family as the one that sends “off” holiday cards—example from this year, St. Patrick's Day.

37. Will ALWAYS lose something after a night at the bar. Typical favorites include dignity and check cards.

Talents I'm sure my parents are glad I've acquired. As I'm sure they are just as glad their hard earned money went to financing the fine tuning of said skills. Just as I'm sure they would be proud of the cover letter I sent expressing my interest in a job at BroBible, an online magazine of sorts that contains “bro code, hot girls, funny stories and videos” among other things. Read and laugh, because for once writing a cover letter didn't suck. Now they just need to call me....

Subject: Assistant Editor from Sweet Home Alabama

Boys of BroBible,

Add some Southern Flair to your staff and hire me. Why? Because I'm a funny, mildly attractive girl that can hold her own amongst a bunch of Bros. Meaning, I'm a Southern sorority girl; I can drink Bud Light and watch football with the best of them. Don't challenge me in Thumper, King's Cup or Flip Cup, I have a delicate touch. Play me in Beer Pong and I'm a sloppy mess that gets better with time. I have editing experience both in print and online. I'm not located in NYC currently, as I graduate from the University of Alabama in four short weeks, but I'm ready for an adventure. I run an online college women's magazine for the University of Alabama, so I have experience on quick turn arounds on edits and also know how to write quickly and cleanly. (I would send you a link to some of my clips I've done for Her Campus Alabama, but every good girl knows, Bros don't really care about the Oscars.) I was featured in The Huffington Post in October about the Occupy Wall Street movement. The piece can be found here. Attached is my resume, look it over and judge me. If I pass muster you can contact me via email (jmjohnson4@crimson.ua.edu) or on my cell phone (770/861-5078). I look forward to possibly speaking with y'all.

Oh yeah, and I would hope to make an income that would put me above the poverty line....so how's $35,000 sound? Too high? I'm up to your suggestions and a discussion on that number. But let's just get to talking first.

Have a fabulous day and Roll Tide!
Jessica Johnson

Now y'all, say a prayer, as I am still waiting on the Bros to call me back.