365 days ago my life changed, in a very big way. I don't think I really took time to let it sink in that I was moving, that I was no longer going to be in a town I called home for so long. That I was no longer going to be comfortable in my own life. That I was going to struggle like I never thought possible. (That, one year later I would still struggle like I never thought I would.)
365 days of waking up and wondering if today would be the day I snapped, packed up my crap and moved home.
365 nights of going to bed in an apartment I pay all the bills for, myself.
Today I turned in the keys to my first grown up apartment. I am slowly moving away from my old self.
I'm becoming a real grown up. Not the fake one I've spent a few years pretending to be. I wonder what the future will hold. When I moved to Montgomery I had no idea what to expect. I thought I had things pretty well figured out, but I don't—I have no flippin' idea what I am doing, where I am going and who I will become.
The dogs are alive and well. I've managed to pay most of my bills on time. I don't have insurmountable credit card debit. I'm doing better than the national average. I know who I am. I have an idea of who I want to become.
Things aren't perfect, but I'm learning to let go of the perfect ideal I had in my head and roll with what is actually happening. Roll with the punches, isn't that a famous Jerry Maguire line?
I've never been good at looking back: I just get melancholy; I am not a person that really likes change. Ironic, because I love adventures and yearn for the day where on a whim, with some planning, I can just up and travel the globe.
But here I am, looking to day 366 of living in Montgomery in a new (to me at least) house, with boxes and tote bags and
my prized possession s shit everywhere… I'm
sure it'll get unpacked and organized eventually, just like my life.
For now, I'm going to enjoy having a porch swing and some early Summer weather. Or at least try to.