When Elite Daily’s twitter tweeted out this article yesterday I immediately jumped at it. As the “Aunt Dooter” to a nephew and two nieces, I thought it would be a nice mental break from a really tough workday. But I was so grossly disappointed.
Yes, there were funny parts, where I pictured sharing my own stories with the little lives I hold dear, and there were serious parts, where I thought about how amazing it is to actually think one day one of these little lives might need me, actually need me, overall I was left wanting more. I don’t know why, as this letter was clearly intended to be vague-but-sort-of-direct in that way the internet loves so much.
The author gives a few main things that are important, what she wants her new little nephew to know.
1. "Yes, girls are pretty, but they are people."
Wynners: the prettiest girl in the world is your Momma, when dealing with very other pretty girl in the world think about how you deal with your Momma and then, only then, should you speak or act.
SGDub and AC: the prettiest girls are the happiest and nicest. Don’t be buttholes to others based on your (or their) looks.
2. "Visit your grandparents, even when you don’t want to."
Learn from Aunt Dooter and call Honey Mom more often than I do.
3. "Hug your mommy—even when hugging her is no longer cool."
If you don’t want to hug, don’t feel the pressure. Watch TV together, sit outside together, just do something together. Make sure you recognize just how completely and totally awesome your Mommas are.
4. "Make mistakes, and make up for them."
Try to be better than I was; than I am. Wynners, watch out for AC and SGDub, we’re a family for a reason.
5. "Have faith in something."
Have faith in God. Go to Church. Be grateful you were raised in religious homes, but don’t let Church or God make you feel less than.
Wynners and AC: have faith that one day South Carolina will again win the SEC Championship in football.
SGDub: have faith in the fact that you will forever have been an Alabama fan from the beginning of the best time to be an Alabama fan.
6. "Get lost once in awhile, but don’t forget how to get home."
Actually, don’t do this. Don’t feel like you have to “wander.” Be who you are, no matter what it is. If you like being home, be home. If you like traveling and going away, go. Don’t let other people tell you how to be. (Except of course your Momma. Always let your Momma tell you how to be.)
7. "Brag when you beat your daddy at one-on-one, but don’t think that it will happen again."
Sure, play outside from sun up to sundown and let the old man win every now and then. But SGDub and AC, when you’re tired and you want to go inside and play dolls, don’t worry, your Daddys will too.
8. "It’s okay to feel hate, but don’t lean on it forever."
Hate no one, ever, except Auburn and Clemson. Realize that hate is just a crutch. Be above it.
9. "Ask for help. You’ll need it."
Be independent but know when to draw the line.
10. "Invest in a belt."
Luckily, y’all won’t be allowed out of the house in terrible fashion choices.
11. "Mind your manners…and your words."
You were raised right, act like it.
12. "Your mom and dad were pretty cool—and they still are."
….the stories I’ve got for when you’re older. Oh good gracious. I promise to share!
13. "You probably won’t get what you deserve, so fight harder for it."
You each deserve the world. Your parents are going to make damn sure you’ve got the best chance of getting it. Remember that always. Be thankful for that always.