Word of the Day Wednesday

Today’s word is chach. It has quickly become one of my favorite, go to words. And after numerous  people have asked me what it means, and basked in the glory of what a wonderful (and underused) insult it is, I’ve decided to share.

Definition: Noun—A boy/manchild/dude/bro who attempts to exhibit a cool and popular look but generally comes across as either an asshole and/or a total loser. Plural: chachs, chaches.

Example: David Pollack, in every facet of his existence is a total chach.

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Adjective, adverb— dumb, idiotic act committed by a boy/manchild/dude/bro

Example: "This conversation is just unbelievable, that was a total chach move." 

Yes, because this guy could be a fitness model.

My exboyfriends are awesome examples! If you want more, let me know!

Verb—to unjustifiably escape a commitment, similar to "bitching/bitched out," not my favorite use of the word, but acceptable.

Behavioral Patterns: Tends to bitch out when extreme situations present themselves. Provokes animosity in more enlightened individuals. (Are you getting the picture of who a chach is, yet?)

Special Abilities: Being able to piss off peers in close proximity by doing absolutely nothing. (You’ve got a chach in your mind now, don’t you?)

***Thanks to the folks at Urban Dictionary for the assist on perfectly articulating this phenomenal word. Also, according to them, and me, chach is a very, very mild curse word and could/can be used in public. I know I do. 

Until next time, I’ll be avoiding stalking my favorite chach (also known as my exboyfriend) on his various social media outlets.

Friday Favorites

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 My dear sweet friend Caitlin, who is amazing and just all around a light in my life, does a series on her blog called “Friday Favorites.” (Which is where I got the image, I mean, let’s be serious I am nowhere near that illustrator inclined, but I digress.)

Our company had “Thankful Thursday” yesterday, and it made me realize how lucky I am to do what I do. I complain a lot about it, but at the end of the day, I am lucky to have the job that I do. Is it my favorite thing? No, but it’s work. And it is a work I enjoy, most of the time. Being in the thankful spirit has also made me realize how many things I consider my “favorite.” How many people I am lucky to call “favorites.” But I guess that is another post for another time.

Here’s what I have been favoriting this week:

My obsession with Maury Povitch grows with each day. Due to popular demand I have stopped live tweeting the episodes, but I think I just might bring that back. Life might be rough, but HEY!, at least you aren't 35 taking a DNA test to find out if your husband is really your brother/cousin/sister. God, I love Americans.

This past Saturday I was in Death Valley alongside my favorite Alabama fan, my father, to watch the Tide roll. I've been lucky enough to sit in the stands of some pretty incredible Alabama football games: Iron Bowl 2008, SEC 2009, National Championship 2012. This experience was like none other. Roll damn tide.

Decorating for Holidays is something my Momma passed down to me. I've started decorating my little bar area for each of the Holidays. By and large Thanksgiving is my least favorite of the choices, but I do think it came together quite nicely. I just need some apple pie moonshine to really complete the look...

The Boobie Bungalow

Originally I wanted this to be up Saturday but "life" got in the way…and by life I mean sleeping for like 17 hours straight and then dragging my butt to work.

For my job I travel, a lot, to seemingly random locales. (Why can’t people log in places like New York City or Southern California?) I find myself in the swamp land of south Georgia, the hills of Mississippi, the flat land of Arkansas. Discovering dear ole Dixie has really been a high point for me and my sense of adventure just seems to keep growing. Then I went to a place called Louisville, Ky. for a lawn and garden tradeshow…and woof.

The four days I spent in Louisville were something straight out of a movie. First example, the eight hour car ride there: did you know there is a strip joint south of Nashville called the Boobie Bungalow. No? Me neither. But google it, I promise you won’t be disappointed. Myself, the house’s web guru (a 23 year old Baptist youth minister) and my beloved be-moustached coworker in his mid fourties with a love of all things ironic and creepy found it hilarious. Not only did a twenty-minute conversation, inside of a rented Dodge minivan, ensue about the Boobie Bungalow but for the remainder of the trip the Boobie Bungalow was discussed. As in, “Oh wow, that chick looks like a reject from the Boobie Bungalow.” 

German "booth babe,"  definitely a loaner from TBB.

The tradeshow had sponsored concerts each night. Of course for the open bar concert Kansas played. I had to DD. For the big concert with Eli Young Band we still had press seats but not an open bar. This was the night I chose to drink…to the complete jerk that took my credit card from the Hard Rock Louisville: you really suck. I hope an entire army got completely blitzkrieged on the $250+ you spent in one night at a bar, where wells were like $4.50. Assclown.

Enjoying while he could. 

In my line of work I write about some pretty heavy machinery. Machinery that costs upwards of $250,000 a piece. I’m not usually allowed to touch said machinery. See also: said machinery cuts down trees and I would rather not be responsible for that kind of thing. I can see the news item now, “Little logging reporter causes fatal accident killing herself and three others in El Dorado, Ark.”

 BUT, I also write about machinery that is a little more run of the mill consumer friendly. For example, this MSRP $599 Lithium Ion battery powered Oregon self-sharpening chainsaw. I got to run it while Dan my be-mustached coworker, the VP of Oregon, and the product manager for Oregon chainsaws watched me. I liked it…a lot.

Please notice this awk part of my hair.

Oh and then there was the riding commercial grade lawnmower. This puppy sure is a beaut. MSRP $7,999. (Why did they let me drive that thing I’ll never know.) I got her to top out at about 3 MPH. My friend riding along is the product manager for the Ariens family of companies ZTR riders. (Yes, all this power equipment jargon is…well, it is what it is. But as my dear friend Brian always says, fake it til ya make it. Even I don’t really understand fully what the jargon all means.) This, y’all, is living.

I can honestly say that pure elation on my face is not faked. I had a damn good time.

#posiweek

Today is just one of those days.

I sit in my cubical and think of the ever-growing to-do list. Nothing seems to go right, and everything seems to be falling into place.

As a writer sometimes inspiration comes. Sometimes I stare at the wall. The last little while has been seemingly never ending. I blinked and it was October. Granted, I was out of town on a story-gathering trip for seven days. But still was it not just the 4^th of July? Story-gathering trips are always so fun for me, but they usually knock me down a bit. This past jaunt was no different. I covered over 2,200 miles. Four states. Seven different companies. Loggers, timber processers and foresters, oh my!

I’m so lucky to have the opportunity to meet with guys (and their lady counterparts) at the end of dirt roads that are really making a difference in our world. Don’t get what I mean? Don’t support the logging industry?

TRY WIPING IT WITH A PINECONE THEN.

But I digress. Some big things are happening around little 1213, and I am excited for what’s in store. Things aren’t firm yet, but I will more than likely be going back to school in Fall 2013. I couldn’t have found a more perfect program for me and cannot wait to bury my nose in a textbook again. Could I be anymore of a dork? Probably, but oh well. I love certain elements of school and cannot wait to get back into an English classroom. Master’s of Liberal Arts program, lookout!

This past story-gathering trip lead me to some awesome places, which really means lots of awesome treasures were loaded into the back of a Ford hatchback and made their way from Mississippi/Arkansas/Louisiana/Tennessee to Montgomery. I have so many ideas for the things I found. I keep telling myself I am going to post all my projects up here, and then never seem to find the time. Well, next week will be the time. It’s therapeutic for me to do my little crafts and what better platform to showcase them?

It’s also about time I bought myself a chest of drawers/bedroom dresser. But that’s being held off another month because I desperately need to chunk some money into the new computer fund. Plus the holidays are coming up. But again, I digress.

One of my absolute favorite people in the entire world is Brian Oliu. Writer, comedian, all around stand up man. Oh and did I mention my saving grace this last year? (…and probably years to come) He has started a social media campaign called #posiweek. Each day he has postings designed to uplift the spirit, make you smile, and just all around warm your heart. Which, honestly, who doesn’t need that every now and again?

Seeing these posts made me want to be positive about myselflifethings. Difficult, given that for the first four days of this week I’ve battled a terrible head cold. But each time I saw one of the #posiweek tweets/statuses I saw myself smile. I sure hope that the #posiweek stays with me into tonight, as we all watch or in my case don’t watch the VP debate, and into the weekend, where I welcome to Montgomery one of my best friends from college. It’s a good week y’all, it’s #posiweek.

"The Hard Hat Diaries" Chapter Two

I am now the proud owner of TWO, yes, TWO paper fold out maps.

Yes, that is exactly what you think it is.

I know what you are all thinking, paper maps? Wellllll, see, I, as do many of you, have a GPS. Tomtom has helped me fearlessly navigate Montgomery as I find the important things like restaurants, The Fresh Market, Big Lots, Dillards, the art house movie theater, my vet’s office. Tomtom has helped me do wonderful things. But Tomtom has also failed me.

He has epically failed me. Enter the paper map. With my job I visit with some of the most hard working, honest, wonderful people in the country. Due to the nature of the timber harvesting business however, they usually live out in the country. Remote areas where AT&T doesn’t feel that 4G, 3G, EDGE, hell any kind of service is needed. Remote areas where Tomtom gets confused and lost; areas where he frequently lies, saying “Arrived at destination.” Said destination is not where I am wanting to go Tomtom. Being lost in the swamplands of South Georgia with no cell service is not how I like to live my life.

Yet, Tuesday and Wednesday of last week I felt myself slowing losing my mind. Hence, the maps. The outdated, for 90% of the United States at least, but perfect for me, paper maps. I felt very road trippy and adventurous while also having the feeling that I was lost and just asking for some scary sociopath to kill me. (I watch waaaayyyy too much Dexter and Criminal Minds.) So here I am in a rental car armed with paper maps winding down US highway 441 North looking for the job.

At the 441 North split in Homerville, Ga. the Delk family are hard working pond loggers.

There is something exhilarating about not having technology telling you when exactly you will arrive somewhere, simply going and arriving when you get there. I found everything I needed to find this trip using my two eyes and two paper maps. I vow to do this from now on with my logging visits. Unplugging can be a good thing right?

Sorry, bro.

I love it for so many reasons. My twins are about the sweetest things in the world. They are more afraid of you than you are of them, Sip especially. Today, just for me, push yourself to think outside of a stereotype perpetuated by Michael Vick and people, I use the term people loosely, like him, that don't see the personality inside each animal. You won't be sorry you did. If you still can't understand what I mean then, frankly, you're doing it wrong.

"The Hard Hat Diaries" Chapter One

The cat's out of the bag. I work for a trade magazine publishing house to pay my bills. (I look fabulous doing it, mind you. But that VISA ain't paying for itself. Just like I need a solid supply of Sauvignon Blanc and the pups need to eat...) But I am pushing my limits in ways I never thought possible. I mentioned in my post about #montgomerymove2012 that I would be going on a business trip to the backwoods of Mississippi...well welcome to the first installment of "The Hard Hat Diaries."

Woods Barbie in all her glory!

 A few weeks ago I was fortunate enough to accompany Jennifer, a freelance-work-from-home fellow HB editor on a trip to Mississippi. In three days we visited four loggers. I have a thing for shoes. Specifically, high heeled shoes, the more beautiful the better. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been what my family calls a Barbie doll. I’m the epitome of a girly girl. Spiders scare me. So, putting on some work boots, jeans, a neon orange vest I was told to wear in order to not die, and a hard hat was a little…hard to believe. Never one to shy away from an adventure, I went in with an open mind. I’m proud to report I did not die. There were no close calls, at logging operations anyway! Jennifer and I did have a moment or two where we couldn’t exactly pinpoint where we were… I actually got some pretty good pictures as well as some successful interviews.

The loggers were all extremely sweet and very understanding. Each went out of their way to explain the equipment to me and push aside my fears. What I didn’t expect to happen was one trying to set me up on a date with both his son and/or his grandson. The sweet older logger pegged me for a little younger than I am, detailing all of his grandson’s high school football accomplishments from the last year. When I kindly informed him, I was out of high school, in fact out of college; he quickly changed gears and starting talking up his son! Fresh from a divorce, the son, who I am sure, would die if he knew about his father’s antics, was healing and needed a good, fine woman. A good, fine woman, according to the father, like me. Poor guy.

I’m sure my first solo trip will be another adventure filled with all sorts of silliness, drive thrus and Comfort Inns, and I can’t wait! These trips were one of the reasons I both loved my job during the interview process and was horrified by it. I mean, a machine with a blade that cuts down one ton trees? AHHHHHHH! 

A Tracked Feller Buncher aka a machine with a blade that cuts down one ton trees