Lost Causes/Hopeless Cases

Thanksgiving night I was feeling overly full of food and drink, football and my family. As I mentioned a few days ago, I was also feeling a little blue. While I didn't wallow in my blueness on Thanksgiving I definitely noticed it. As I went to shut off my bedside lamp and get a few hours of sleep, I met my Momma at 6am to go shopping, I noticed a medal hanging from my lamp.

For those that are unaware, in the Catholic tradition medals of saints are worn to show a special closeness. For example, when I was confirmed I was given a medal of St. Therese of Lisieux, who is my personal patron saint. Medals of saints can also be worn of saints you feel a special connection, or request their special guidance. For example, St. John Neumann is the patron saint of Catholic schools, so a Catholic schoolteacher may wear his medal.

Anyway, dangling from my lamp was St. Jude Thaddeus' medal. I put it on that night have only taken it off to shower.

St. Jude is the patron saint of hopeless cases and lost causes.

It seems fitting.

St. Jude, Pray for me that I may receive the consolation and help of heaven in my necessities, tribulations and sufferings and that I may praise God with you and all the elect forever. Intercede for us all, gracious, brother Saint Jude, and pray for us to the Lord our God in our daily toil and our necessities. Amen.

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A Blue Sort of #posituesday

It's one of those days where everything seems to be off. Which I hate because it should be #posituesday.

I've mentioned before about how changing my life so drastically has had ups and downs. Today seems to be one of those downs. In fact, it has been a down week of sorts. I have flashes of happy and content but then flashes of sheer disappointment.

Disappointment in myself for my current state of discontent. Disappointment in how I woke up a few days ago and realized that all the weight and muscle I worked so hard to lose/gain in the beginning of the year is gone. Disappoinment that no matter how hard I try to stay digitally connected to my best friends, a phone call or a gchat will never be the same as grabbing beers at Innisfree to catch up on gossip.

I've read Mommy blogs that discuss not saying never and not taking yourself too seriously. I've learned to never say never, I mean I can't with the job I have! As far as taking myself too seriously? Yeah, that has never been my problem. I've leaned on friends, mentors from school, even my former boss. Yet, I still have this burning feeling that I'm disappointed in myself. Maybe it's the weather: I've never been a "rain" person. Maybe it's the three day blues from having some vacation: being in a cubical is not as fun after a vacation…

I'm disappointed in myself for feeling so blue and being so self-centered that everyone wants to hear about it. It's supposed to be #posituesday, which I'm spinning this week. Every once and a while it's okay to feel blue. It means you're alive and feeling all the other feelings too.

At least that's what I am going to tell myself. I'm giving myself today to feel blue. I'm going to power though my responsibilities and then spend all evening in front of my sad little Charlie Brown tree reading a delicious Nora Roberts romance.

An Open Letter to PR Geeks

Hello PR “Guru”, this “Editor” speaking. Yes, the one you BCC’d your press release to a few moments ago. I’ve got a few quick questions for you…

 1. You sent this release to an email address with a persons name in it. Don’t you think sending “Hello Editor” instead of “Hello Jessica” is a little, what’s the word I’m looking for? Tacky? Rude? Stupid? Annoying? Not-paying-attention?

2. I am an editor of a magazine that publishes articles relating to XYZ. Does your release deal with XYZ? No, not even in the slightest? THEN WHY AM I READING IT?

3. Your release is giving people the opportunity to buy things? Cool! Are you going to give one away to my readers? No? Then why would I be writing about your thingamajig? We don’t exactly run product reviews of stuff we’ve never seen.

4. If I haven’t contacted you within a week, it’s safe to say I’m not interested. No need for any sort of follow up. Save me five seconds of deleting, kthanksbye.

I know these questions seem obvious harsh, but honestly? I get annoyed sorting through all these releases. For every one I want/need/do something about, I get thirty.

Bonus points go to the PR geeks that actually do their homework and our visit social media channels/sites and actually tailor your releases, emails and comments to what we actually do. It doesn’t go unnoticed. You people that don’t? Yeah, that doesn’t go unnoticed either. 

You're doing it wrong.

Word of the Day Wednesday

Today’s word is chach. It has quickly become one of my favorite, go to words. And after numerous  people have asked me what it means, and basked in the glory of what a wonderful (and underused) insult it is, I’ve decided to share.

Definition: Noun—A boy/manchild/dude/bro who attempts to exhibit a cool and popular look but generally comes across as either an asshole and/or a total loser. Plural: chachs, chaches.

Example: David Pollack, in every facet of his existence is a total chach.

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Adjective, adverb— dumb, idiotic act committed by a boy/manchild/dude/bro

Example: "This conversation is just unbelievable, that was a total chach move." 

Yes, because this guy could be a fitness model.

My exboyfriends are awesome examples! If you want more, let me know!

Verb—to unjustifiably escape a commitment, similar to "bitching/bitched out," not my favorite use of the word, but acceptable.

Behavioral Patterns: Tends to bitch out when extreme situations present themselves. Provokes animosity in more enlightened individuals. (Are you getting the picture of who a chach is, yet?)

Special Abilities: Being able to piss off peers in close proximity by doing absolutely nothing. (You’ve got a chach in your mind now, don’t you?)

***Thanks to the folks at Urban Dictionary for the assist on perfectly articulating this phenomenal word. Also, according to them, and me, chach is a very, very mild curse word and could/can be used in public. I know I do. 

Until next time, I’ll be avoiding stalking my favorite chach (also known as my exboyfriend) on his various social media outlets.

Friday Favorites

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 My dear sweet friend Caitlin, who is amazing and just all around a light in my life, does a series on her blog called “Friday Favorites.” (Which is where I got the image, I mean, let’s be serious I am nowhere near that illustrator inclined, but I digress.)

Our company had “Thankful Thursday” yesterday, and it made me realize how lucky I am to do what I do. I complain a lot about it, but at the end of the day, I am lucky to have the job that I do. Is it my favorite thing? No, but it’s work. And it is a work I enjoy, most of the time. Being in the thankful spirit has also made me realize how many things I consider my “favorite.” How many people I am lucky to call “favorites.” But I guess that is another post for another time.

Here’s what I have been favoriting this week:

My obsession with Maury Povitch grows with each day. Due to popular demand I have stopped live tweeting the episodes, but I think I just might bring that back. Life might be rough, but HEY!, at least you aren't 35 taking a DNA test to find out if your husband is really your brother/cousin/sister. God, I love Americans.

This past Saturday I was in Death Valley alongside my favorite Alabama fan, my father, to watch the Tide roll. I've been lucky enough to sit in the stands of some pretty incredible Alabama football games: Iron Bowl 2008, SEC 2009, National Championship 2012. This experience was like none other. Roll damn tide.

Decorating for Holidays is something my Momma passed down to me. I've started decorating my little bar area for each of the Holidays. By and large Thanksgiving is my least favorite of the choices, but I do think it came together quite nicely. I just need some apple pie moonshine to really complete the look...

The Boobie Bungalow

Originally I wanted this to be up Saturday but "life" got in the way…and by life I mean sleeping for like 17 hours straight and then dragging my butt to work.

For my job I travel, a lot, to seemingly random locales. (Why can’t people log in places like New York City or Southern California?) I find myself in the swamp land of south Georgia, the hills of Mississippi, the flat land of Arkansas. Discovering dear ole Dixie has really been a high point for me and my sense of adventure just seems to keep growing. Then I went to a place called Louisville, Ky. for a lawn and garden tradeshow…and woof.

The four days I spent in Louisville were something straight out of a movie. First example, the eight hour car ride there: did you know there is a strip joint south of Nashville called the Boobie Bungalow. No? Me neither. But google it, I promise you won’t be disappointed. Myself, the house’s web guru (a 23 year old Baptist youth minister) and my beloved be-moustached coworker in his mid fourties with a love of all things ironic and creepy found it hilarious. Not only did a twenty-minute conversation, inside of a rented Dodge minivan, ensue about the Boobie Bungalow but for the remainder of the trip the Boobie Bungalow was discussed. As in, “Oh wow, that chick looks like a reject from the Boobie Bungalow.” 

German "booth babe,"  definitely a loaner from TBB.

The tradeshow had sponsored concerts each night. Of course for the open bar concert Kansas played. I had to DD. For the big concert with Eli Young Band we still had press seats but not an open bar. This was the night I chose to drink…to the complete jerk that took my credit card from the Hard Rock Louisville: you really suck. I hope an entire army got completely blitzkrieged on the $250+ you spent in one night at a bar, where wells were like $4.50. Assclown.

Enjoying while he could. 

In my line of work I write about some pretty heavy machinery. Machinery that costs upwards of $250,000 a piece. I’m not usually allowed to touch said machinery. See also: said machinery cuts down trees and I would rather not be responsible for that kind of thing. I can see the news item now, “Little logging reporter causes fatal accident killing herself and three others in El Dorado, Ark.”

 BUT, I also write about machinery that is a little more run of the mill consumer friendly. For example, this MSRP $599 Lithium Ion battery powered Oregon self-sharpening chainsaw. I got to run it while Dan my be-mustached coworker, the VP of Oregon, and the product manager for Oregon chainsaws watched me. I liked it…a lot.

Please notice this awk part of my hair.

Oh and then there was the riding commercial grade lawnmower. This puppy sure is a beaut. MSRP $7,999. (Why did they let me drive that thing I’ll never know.) I got her to top out at about 3 MPH. My friend riding along is the product manager for the Ariens family of companies ZTR riders. (Yes, all this power equipment jargon is…well, it is what it is. But as my dear friend Brian always says, fake it til ya make it. Even I don’t really understand fully what the jargon all means.) This, y’all, is living.

I can honestly say that pure elation on my face is not faked. I had a damn good time.

#posiweek

Today is just one of those days.

I sit in my cubical and think of the ever-growing to-do list. Nothing seems to go right, and everything seems to be falling into place.

As a writer sometimes inspiration comes. Sometimes I stare at the wall. The last little while has been seemingly never ending. I blinked and it was October. Granted, I was out of town on a story-gathering trip for seven days. But still was it not just the 4^th of July? Story-gathering trips are always so fun for me, but they usually knock me down a bit. This past jaunt was no different. I covered over 2,200 miles. Four states. Seven different companies. Loggers, timber processers and foresters, oh my!

I’m so lucky to have the opportunity to meet with guys (and their lady counterparts) at the end of dirt roads that are really making a difference in our world. Don’t get what I mean? Don’t support the logging industry?

TRY WIPING IT WITH A PINECONE THEN.

But I digress. Some big things are happening around little 1213, and I am excited for what’s in store. Things aren’t firm yet, but I will more than likely be going back to school in Fall 2013. I couldn’t have found a more perfect program for me and cannot wait to bury my nose in a textbook again. Could I be anymore of a dork? Probably, but oh well. I love certain elements of school and cannot wait to get back into an English classroom. Master’s of Liberal Arts program, lookout!

This past story-gathering trip lead me to some awesome places, which really means lots of awesome treasures were loaded into the back of a Ford hatchback and made their way from Mississippi/Arkansas/Louisiana/Tennessee to Montgomery. I have so many ideas for the things I found. I keep telling myself I am going to post all my projects up here, and then never seem to find the time. Well, next week will be the time. It’s therapeutic for me to do my little crafts and what better platform to showcase them?

It’s also about time I bought myself a chest of drawers/bedroom dresser. But that’s being held off another month because I desperately need to chunk some money into the new computer fund. Plus the holidays are coming up. But again, I digress.

One of my absolute favorite people in the entire world is Brian Oliu. Writer, comedian, all around stand up man. Oh and did I mention my saving grace this last year? (…and probably years to come) He has started a social media campaign called #posiweek. Each day he has postings designed to uplift the spirit, make you smile, and just all around warm your heart. Which, honestly, who doesn’t need that every now and again?

Seeing these posts made me want to be positive about myselflifethings. Difficult, given that for the first four days of this week I’ve battled a terrible head cold. But each time I saw one of the #posiweek tweets/statuses I saw myself smile. I sure hope that the #posiweek stays with me into tonight, as we all watch or in my case don’t watch the VP debate, and into the weekend, where I welcome to Montgomery one of my best friends from college. It’s a good week y’all, it’s #posiweek.