A New Normal

October was a pretty big month for me. I had some babies.

Homeward bound!

That's so weird to actually say. On one hand, it feels like it was just the middle of the summer and I was a hot pregnant girl dreaming of October. Now it's November: Fitz and Alex are nearly a month old! WOAH. I also lost nearly 60 pounds in eight days. WOAH.

I won't go into too many gruesome birth details, because who really wants to know that the first words out of my mouth after seeing Fitzy was “What the F are we going to do with a baby?”, but I will say I'm really glad I'm not going through that ordeal again anytime soon! If ever.

Though, I would think that losing three liters of blood, and subsequent blood transfusion, would turn ANYONE off of an activity...

The hospital was a blur after their birth but look at how awesomely cute they were.

Oh look my husband is super cute too!

They've already changed so much. They've already grown so much. They are just so awesome. 

I'm not going to even pretend like I remotely know what the hell I'm doing. But I do feel pretty lucky to be their Momma. Though maybe not at the 3am feeding time. 

It's almost time for me to go back to work, five weeks sure did fly by, and while I'm excited to get some adult interaction again, I am going to miss mid-morning snuggles and long afternoon walks to the park.

Finding a “new normal” has never intimidated me, and over the next few weeks hopefully we will quickly fall into our new normal. If not, well, there's always gin. 

That's not even half the bottles we go through in a day...

The 80 Thoughts You Have During Pure Barre, Pregnant

Recently, I came across this post about the 100 thoughts you have during Pure Barre class and basically laughed my seat off/nodded right along. I mean it pretty much describes every class to a T. From rookie to veteran, some version of most of those thoughts runs through your head during the hour-long workout. I mean we all do KIND OF look like we're having sex during back dancing. 

However, lately, I've noticed that my thoughts have changed slightly. I'm WAY more desperate to think, "okay, I can do this." than before. So, while some of the 100 thoughts still apply, I thought I'd update the list a little.

The 80 Thoughts that Run Through Your Head at Pure Barre When You're in Your Third Trimester
(I really need a shorter title.)

I mean, the socks are basically perfect.

1. Okay, the thermostat is set at 76 today. You can totally survive that without fainting.
2. One day I’ll get my old body back, and then I'll finally buy some Lululemon. 
3. Why does every woman in here but me have on Lululemon?
4. I really wish I hadn't had that milkshake at lunch. 
5. Pay attention fool, you're kneeing yourself in the belly. 
6. Rock back on your tailbone? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 
7. First set of curls. You got this. You've still got abs. Somewhere.
8. Remember to drink water. 
9. You're about to give birth, you can plank for ninety seconds.
10.  …okay maybe you can't plank for ninety seconds.
11.  No, you can. Hang on to it. Fifteen seconds. 
12. It's totally okay to cry during side arm plank right? 
13. Why is the "wrap and reach" giving me vertigo? 
14. Oh goodie, F’ing push-ups. 
15. Drink some more water you're redder than a tomato. 
16. More push-ups. Yay.
17. You did like 90% of the push-ups the instructor called out. 
18. You're basically indescribably awesome little momma. 
19. Shit. Tricep dips. 
20. Do I look this whale-like when I'm sitting at work? 
21. My feet are looking nice and balloon-like today. 
22. I really want a shortbread cookie. 
23. My arms are so strong! 
24. Why don't my arms look like this at home? 
25. These two lb. weights are heavy. 
26. If I can't lift four total pounds, how am I going to lift a baby? 
27. Yes! I got called out for good form. 
28. Wait, was it good form or hang in there? 
29. Either way, I’ll take it. 
30. AHHH STRETCH 
31. I totally shouldn't have had that milkshake at lunch.
32. First thigh, it’s a marathon not a sprint. 
33. Think about how small an inch is. 
34. Don't punk out of this first one. 
35. Don't punk out of this first one. 
36. It's almost final ten. 
37. AHHH STRETCH 
38. Why do people stare when I slide into a spilt? 
39. Left side, you're about to be my bitch. 
40. …maybe not. 
41. Seat work. I can do this. 
42. MY STANDING LEG IS GOING TO FALL OFF. 
43. I am so having a cookie after dinner. 
44. Pretzel. This is going to be fun.
45. Who is breathing so loud? 
46. Crap, I think that's me. 
47. Left side! Strong Side! 
48. …that’s from a movie, I think. But which one? 
49. Remember the Titans! That's the movie!
50. Abs against the wall, aka, folding your giant boobs into your giant belly.
51. It feels so good to stretch my legs.
52. I should be tucking harder but this stretch is really lovely. 
53. Shit, fast abs. Don't do diamond. Don't do diamond. 
54. Of course, freaking diamond. 
55. Mmmm, back stretch! 
56. Center of the room, almost to the door! 
57. C curve with a giant belly looks really odd. 
58. I look like a teeter totter. 
59. Strong arms up; you can do this! 
60. Time to rock some upper body curls. 
61. YES! I still have strong abs in there. 
62. Lower body curls. RIIIIGHT. 
63. I wonder if the lower body curls tickle the baby's head? 
64. It feels so awesome to arch my back.
65. I hate this arm/leg stretch preggo modification. 
66. I might topple over. 
67. Was I supposed to do 12 or 15 on each side? 
68. Everyone looks like they are having sex. 
69. I wonder if I look like this having sex? 
70. {stifled giggles; dirty thought about husband.} 
71. These songs always make me miss college and cheap kamikaze shots.
72. I don't remember this making the side of my seat burn so much. 
73. FINAL FINAL TEN! YESSSSSSSSS! 
74. I love the stretching. 
75. I really love the stretching.
76. Rock up? More like wiggle and look sort of like a fish out of water. 
77. My whole body feels awesome. 
78. I think I just meowed when the instructor stretched me. 
79. I feel amazing. 
80. Ah, yes, this feeling. This is why I come every day. 

_______________________

Linking up with Katie for Healthy Habits!

Dear Boys, be fearless.

Y'all aren't even here yet, and I already have so many things I want to teach you, show you, give you. But as I think about how different everything is going to become in the next few weeks, for you and for me and for your Daddy, one thing sticks in my mind. I want you to be fearless.

I won't pretend to take your health for granted, so if you are listening in there, stay in as long as your little lungs need I'm sorry it's so cramped..., but I want you to be fearless starting right now.

This morning we will go out into the woods of middle Tennessee and you will experience yet another logging operation. you'll feel my heartbeat quicken when I first get out of the car and smell the diesel and fresh air, and again, when I hear the feller-buncher, delimber and skidder, and all the other big machines working for the first time—all the machines you'll one day become fascinated by, I hope. But then you will feel my whole body relax as I find my rhythm with my interview, as I move about the tract taking pictures. As I find my own fearlessness.

Momma has made her fair share of mistakes. Daddy, too. You'll soon learn that we're all stained with Original Sin and nobody is perfect. We will all continue to make mistakes. But it's not letting these mistakes define us that is truly important.

It's about finding that fearlessness to try again, after we fail. To learn when to push. To always be pushing. That's what makes us great. That's what makes us fearless.

Plenty of people in your life will help shape you into whomever you'll end up being. I personally want you to be a smart set of tennis players with sweet smiles and a little mischief in your eyes. I have a feeling that Alex will end up being the one, besides me of course, that knocks some sense into you, Fitz, every now and then. But what do I know? We don't know each other extremely well at this point.

I do know that over the last eight months, the three of us have been through Hell and back. We've struggled. We've been sick. We've been sad. We've traveled. We've gotten stuck in an ice storm. We've eaten every chocolate chip cookie known to man.

I've tried to be fearless: For y'all and for me. So now it's soon going to be your turn. Be fearless for me. Don't let someone tell you you can't do something. Don't ever accept no as an answer. Have the heart of lion but the compassion of a lamb.

Learn from my mistakes and my successes. Give me some slack when I can't give you everything you want, because of this reason or that reason. Recognize I am just trying to handle the uncharted waters of being y'all's Momma. I will always fight for you. But, for it to work, we've all got to be fearless.

Are you ready? Because I think I might be.

Healthy Habits During Pregnancy: Pure Barre

I've been #addicted to Pure Barre since I took my first class at the Montgomery studio on February 6^th, 2013, two days after they opened. I've taken over 200 classes in the last year and a half.

200! 100 of them in less than one year, and the other 100 while pregnant with twins, which doesn’t make me a rock star, but I thought I’d humble brag there for just a minute…Go me!

As with everything in my life, I find that I thrive on routine, and PB is no exception. When I first started taking classes I was in a different place life wise. I was working two jobs, traveling pretty consistently, had a bustling social life dating all the boys I could find and enjoying being me. I hesitate to say "being a young professional" because what does that even mean?, but I guess you could say that’s what I was? I took classes at 5:45am three days a week for over a year, and only one class after work a week. It was the perfect start to my morning, I felt better about the day and found myself not as tired or "slow to start" at work.

Now, my routine has obviously changed, as I can't ever seem to drag myself out of bed before about 7:20 at best. I take classes after work each day. While I miss getting a good start to the day and coming home from work around 5 with the evening to get some "chores" done, it was important to me to maintain PB as part of my daily life, even after getting pregnant.

I feel like I have to "make time" for Pure Barre now more than I ever did in my "previous" life. As a person that took to classes like a fish to water, never noticing that I had to make time before, this was disappointing. Though, I stuck it out and couldn't be happier about it. Classes have gotten harder as my belly has gotten bigger. In fact, watching me tuck, especially during the section of abs against the wall under the barre, is really a sight for sore eyes. But the classes have greatly improved my stiffness.

I was always flexible, and haven't lost any of it since getting pregnant, so being able to stretch daily really helps. I have a lot of round ligament pain, back pain and, sadly, all the other pains many have, and I've found this to be my relief. Sadly, the budget doesn't allow for the weekly prenatal massages that I've been told by other moms-to-be are ABSOLUTE LIFESAVERS, eyeroll on those bias.

Pure Barre is my go-to recommended form of exercise for anyone: pregnant or not, former dancer or not, super strong or not so super strong. It really works, with the added benefit of a mind escape and improved flexibility. And what lady doesn’t want improved flexibility? Classes are simultaneously fast and slow and will keep you on your toes for all 55 minutes.

I don't know what life will look like once Fitz and Alex make their way into this world. I've read plenty of things about "Momma guilt," being intentional and the whole working versus staying home thing, and how sometimes expensive exercise classes get tossed aside for "more important things."

A friend of mine, and fellow PB'er and ironically enough twin boy mom, once told me that you have to find out what works for your particular family and just go with that. Pure Barre makes me feel good; it is one measly hour a day and helps me be my best self. It's beyond a healthy habit, it's part of who I am, and I just can't see myself giving it up.

**Linking up with Katie Did What for Healthy Habits!

Spilling the Beans

When I finally let reality set in, that I was going to be having a baby, followed very, very quickly by having another baby, aka the big T word, I decided that a lot of the Pinteresty preggo things weren't in the cards.

I haven't kept a weekly journal. I didn't announce our littles at 12 weeks, probably because I wasn't actually sure I was preg at 12 weeks but I digress a smidge. I try not to be overly HEY I AM PREGNANT OVER HERE PEOPLE on social media (or in real life!). But there was one thing I was certain I wanted to do: a gender reveal.

I knew from the beginning that I wanted to find out the babies' gender, it helps so much with planning. But it also is very hard to be kept a secret with twins as I have an ultrasound at every appointment and with so many doctors and nurses to be seen it can be hard to be kept neutral.

I wasn't exactly sure how I wanted to do the reveal, or who it would be to exactly, but I knew I wanted to do one. With how schedules worked out, we ended up finding out about the boys the day before Mark's birthday, the day we were going to Atlanta before continuing on for our mountain weekend in Blue Ridge.

I decided to tell my Dad, my bestest bestie Mallory and a few other close friends and family over the phone after the appointment (they couldn't stand to wait) but I decided to do the reveal with my Momma and Stepdad. I looked at Pinterest at all the different ideas and didn’t really like any of them—seemed a little trite and not really me.

Enter: “Spilling the Beans” Dinner
My Stepdad grilled some flank steak, we had some comfort food sides, and my Momma did a "reveal" tablescape.

 I swear she was all about the tablescapes before tablescapes were a thing. I love the little animals she picked! Of course I already knew we were about to be diving head first into blue and little animals for the next long while...

I bought two mason jars at Michael's; painted the insides solid black and decided to fill them with the correct color "beans" for each baby. I labeled each jar with gender-neutral tags and ribbon.

 

After dinner each one of my parents got to open their jar and "spill the beans." I don't think I have ever seen my Momma eat that fast in her entire life: holy shit talk about impatient. 

I believe a solid caption here would be "Mark you bastard." Or "One more to go! GIMMME SOME PINK!"

The look on their respective faces pretty much says it all. My poor Momma.

 

We have videos of each one opening the jars that immediately send me into laughing fits, and I can't wait to show Fitz and Alex when they are old enough to understand! It was a great beginning to this wild ride of twin boys.

Summer Reading: June 2014

I'm going to be hard on myself for a minute. Which I know is a terrible idea—especially pregnant. BUT I didn't meet my summer reading goal for June. I read only one book. I got through a stack of magazines I've been "meaning to read" but in terms of actual books, I just knocked out one. And in the process, disappointed myself. But hey, one is better than none? I don't really have any reason I didn't read more except the ever present Fitz and Alex Notebook of Things to Take Care Of.

That won't overwhelm me this month though! Over the long weekend I started a new book and I've got two work trips in the pipes for this month. It's looking like I will get back on the reading tract!

The book I did read for June was Summer Blowout by Claire Cook. I loved it.

Cover via Amazon

Definitely in line with what I normally read, Summer Blowout was easy and enjoyable. I could relate to the complex family dynamic and loved that the book was partially set in Atlanta. It would be a perfect weekend read: some drama, lots of humor and a few twists you might not exactly see coming. I'm also a sucker for strong female leads with rag tag dogs by their side. Go figure.

Interesting side note, Cook is the author of the book Must Love Dogs, which should sound familiar to a few folks thanks to the lovely Dianne Lane, John Cusack movie of the same name. I now want to both read the book and watch the movie for the eleventy billionth time.

Let me know if you read Summer Blowout, I'm always looking to talk books with people! And, as always, I'd love to hear some suggestions on what to read next!

Currently (Vol. III)

It's been a crazy few weeks, and I know it will only get crazier. So in an effort to unscramble my brain a bit, I'm going to try to be better about keeping up with a weekly Currently. post. Who knew that babies required so much attention and details and to do listing and don't forget this listing, BEFORE THEY EVEN WERE BORN. 

 

Thinking about: Still on the redoing my house thing. Though this weekend I got to start on a very special room: Fitz and Alex's nursery! There are still oh so many things to decide, and it's been frustrating. It continues to be frustrating, thanks to this thing called a budget, BUT my Momma and I found some fabrics this weekend that I fell in love with, so it's slowly but surely coming together. Even Mark approves of the ikat print for the curtains, saying, "Those things sort of look like arrowheads, so I like it."

via

Reading: I am being a little hard on myself, but I did not reach my June goal of reading three books. After I finished Summer Blowout, which I loved by the way, I sort of stalled. I worked my way through a few magazines, but didn't pick up a book. I found myself being overwhelmed by the Fitz and Alex Notebook of Things to Take Care Of. This weekend though, I started reading The Bad Behavior of Belle Cantrell by Loraine Despres and am loving it. Though as I was reading last night I realized that parts of the book seem really familiar, and I think I might have already read it. But I'm not 100% sure, so I want to finish it out. The story is definitely a perfect one for a sassy Southerner like myself. The historical fiction aspect of the story drew me in with page one, I  recommend it wholeheartedly!

Listening to: Still enjoying some silence and the occasional dog bark.

Watching: Suits. If you don't watch, I suggest you start. Immediately. Here, I'll give you a teaser.

Thankful for: Many, many things always, but this week I am especially thankful for my sweet friend Shelby who took these beautiful pictures of me that helped me "share my secret" last week.