Tuesday, August 19

Dear Boys, be fearless.

Y'all aren't even here yet, and I already have so many things I want to teach you, show you, give you. But as I think about how different everything is going to become in the next few weeks, for you and for me and for your Daddy, one thing sticks in my mind. I want you to be fearless.

I won't pretend to take your health for granted, so if you are listening in there, stay in as long as your little lungs need I'm sorry it's so cramped..., but I want you to be fearless starting right now.

This morning we will go out into the woods of middle Tennessee and you will experience yet another logging operation. you'll feel my heartbeat quicken when I first get out of the car and smell the diesel and fresh air, and again, when I hear the feller-buncher, delimber and skidder, and all the other big machines working for the first time—all the machines you'll one day become fascinated by, I hope. But then you will feel my whole body relax as I find my rhythm with my interview, as I move about the tract taking pictures. As I find my own fearlessness.

Momma has made her fair share of mistakes. Daddy, too. You'll soon learn that we're all stained with Original Sin and nobody is perfect. We will all continue to make mistakes. But it's not letting these mistakes define us that is truly important.

It's about finding that fearlessness to try again, after we fail. To learn when to push. To always be pushing. That's what makes us great. That's what makes us fearless.

Plenty of people in your life will help shape you into whomever you'll end up being. I personally want you to be a smart set of tennis players with sweet smiles and a little mischief in your eyes. I have a feeling that Alex will end up being the one, besides me of course, that knocks some sense into you, Fitz, every now and then. But what do I know? We don't know each other extremely well at this point.

I do know that over the last eight months, the three of us have been through Hell and back. We've struggled. We've been sick. We've been sad. We've traveled. We've gotten stuck in an ice storm. We've eaten every chocolate chip cookie known to man.

I've tried to be fearless: For y'all and for me. So now it's soon going to be your turn. Be fearless for me. Don't let someone tell you you can't do something. Don't ever accept no as an answer. Have the heart of lion but the compassion of a lamb.

Learn from my mistakes and my successes. Give me some slack when I can't give you everything you want, because of this reason or that reason. Recognize I am just trying to handle the uncharted waters of being y'all's Momma. I will always fight for you. But, for it to work, we've all got to be fearless.

Are you ready? Because I think I might be.

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