The Hard Hat Diaries: God Bless Whataburger

Holy crap! It's...September? Already? Where'd August go? Heck, where'd July go? I keep telling myself I'm going to make time for this little personal slice of internet, and then I go home and find Netflix. Sad truth. I know I can't be the only one. {Speaking of which, it only took me one month to rewatch every episode of Greek. Remember how awesome that show was? CAPPIE&CASEY4EVA}

July was a blur of basically nothing....August on the other hand...

Well I went on not one, but two Woods Barbie adventures, received my first Influenster box and my first Cara Box, as well as began year two as Miss Jessica. So I have plenty of material. Guess it's time to start writing...

August has been by far the craziest month of travel I've had in a long while. First up was what I like to call a week long "Loop" trip, hitting Mississippi, Arkansas and Louisiana for stories. This time, however, I added Texas to my list. I'd only been to Texas once before, to Fort Worth, so I was excited to expand my horizons. AKA add another state to my every growing list of states I've gotten lost in.  Texas has LOTS of Whataburgers, which is basically the best food ever. Happy little me didn’t mind Texas one damn bit! Gone are the days of surviving on Sonic. THANK GOD. I don't think I could eat another bite of Sonic if my life depended on it. Seriously. 

This stack is one day going to be toilet paper!

The week was basically a blur between accidentally making my phone think it was March 2011, remembering to take real time marketing photos, actually getting to drive one of the giant pieces of machinery I write about, and seeing a bear.

Yes, you read that correctly: I saw a bear. I was piloting a Chevy 200, which is a wanna be Chevy 300 which is a wanna be Bentley{don't I get the best rental cars?}, so I was NOT confident that the bear couldn't paw it's way in. Hence no photographic evidence. I was lost on some backwoods Arkansas state highway, trying to find Louisiana, when out pops a damn bear. BEAR! During the bear debacle, my boss starts texting me about the movie Deliverance. Again. I really don’t think I ever want to see that movie. Ever. 

Sadly, those were the major highlights of the week. Compared to most trips, I laid low. Though I went from boots and jeans Friday morning to a black tie fundraiser Friday night. Ahhh, the beautiful dichotomy of my life. 

Five on Friday

I intended to get back in the blogging saddle this week, if only for posterity’s sake, but then I had one of the worst sicknesses of my adult life. Now, to be fair I’ve only been an “adult” for a hot minute, but woof. For almost five straight days I was running a fever of about 100 to 101.

I didn’t blog like I should’ve because I could barely muster enough energy to breathe. My bad. But now I’m back to breathing and blogging.

Secret’s out: I read Mommy blogs. Okay, I read like three. And for the most part they are women I know (or my family knows) in real life. So when a few of them “link up” to The Good Life and the Five On Friday, I’ve always thought, “I need to do that! What a good way to list random thoughts for the week.” So here I am, joining in on the fun.

One: Happy Birthday America!

In a cruel twist of fate, I started feeling better Wednesday. Just time for a wet July 4^th. A day off/holiday where I had no plans, did practically nothing and took a nap in the middle of the day. It was awesome and a little sad at the same time.  I wore blue tempos, a red Chicago Blackhawks tshirt and cleaned my kitchen. That’s American right?

Two: Welcome to the Real World

I bought a car last Friday. A car. A car! I own something worth real money. It’s a surreal feeling. It also needs gas, which I’m quickly learning, in an SUV ain’t cheap. After not driving for a few weeks, being able to drive, and actually owning the car!, is a glorious feeling. Somehow I have managed to not take a photo of said car. How very unmidtwentysomething of me. Whoops.

Three: Back to the Barre

With sickness, traveling, working at night and no real wheels to speak of, my Pure Barre attendance was slim to none for June. July shall change all of that. It’s back to the Barre for this seat. Lord do I need it. Though the thought of going back to three and four classes a week after basically being completely gone for a month has me terrified.

Four: Decorating (or Attempting to Decorate) My House

I love my house. It’s by no means a dream house, but for right now, for this point of life, it’s perfect. I’m by no means the interior genius, I mean designer, that others in my family are, cough Mrs. K. J. Williams cough, so I’m scouring Pinterest for ideas. Having a whole house to decorate and a limited budget has me pretty overwhelmed.

Five: Projects for the Weekend

One of my dearest friends is having a baby girl reallll soon. I keep stockpiling things Charlotte will one day receive from Aunt Jess, but I never get around to sending them. I also have my little sis’ wedding gift I never sent. I’m making it a point to head to the post office this weekend. I’m also planning on attempting to make a wreath for my front door and spray paint my front porch chairs. I think I’ve bit off more than I can chew at this point. Story of my life.

Woods Barbie Reflects: Year One

Lately I have been a little "distracted." Lots of things have been happening, both good and bad, and I'm just not sure what the hell I'm doing with myself. While I sort that out…or try to at least, I had the opportunity to write my first editorial for Southern Loggin' Times. A serious reflection on the last year of my life. My first year in the woods.

And it was way harder than I ever thought it would be.

 See, my entire world changed when I joined the editorial team at Hatton-Brown. I traded in my high heels for Wolverine men's work boots. My sundresses for good ole fashioned Levi 501's.

One of my favorite parts of this editorial was coming up with the following list: the twelve most important things the forestry industry (& my job) has taught me.

One: In the most simple of terms, the smell of pine mixed with diesel is wonderful. It reminds me why I love my job and I am grateful to have the chance to spend some time outside. It does some good for the soul.

Two: Loggers are some of the best people in the world. As a Louisiana logger once told me, there are many misconceptions about this industry, but the biggest one is what loggers are really like. We need to fight to change these misconceptions.

Three: Some words are interchangeable and commonly accepted to stand for other things. Some don't.

Four: There are some companies that really are the embodiment of everything I hate: greed, stupidity and stepping on the little guys to get ahead.

Five: I'm never going to not get lost. As a Mississippi logger put it, "you need to brush up on your left and your right."

Six: Faith is a wonderful thing. In the last year my faith has been revealed to me in ways I never thought possible.

 

Seven: I love the sound of a chain flail delimbinator. (Pictured above for you nonheavy machinery people.)

Eight: Sonic Drive-Thru is in fact delicious, but a small person such as myself should not eat it for eight out of eleven meals and not expect to get sick. Try out the meat and three place. It's worth it every single time.

Nine: This industry, unlike any I've been around before, is a family. People look out for each other.

Ten: The EPA needs to slow their F'n roll.

Eleven: My interviews are fun. I love getting to know this extended family I find myself a part of, and sharing their stories with me is an honor. But I also like to laugh a little in the process. And it is always, always okay to laugh at me. I’m still getting the hang of the woods and I’m bound to make a fool out of myself.

Twelve: Riding in a giant piece of equipment over a bunch of trees in seven feet deep water, sitting on the lap of the operator can make for an interesting conversation and can get you some great pictures. It can be a little awkward though, when climbing out.   

I don't know what year two will bring for little Woods Barbie, but I can honestly say I can't wait to find out... and getting to this point, it's been a helluva ride.

#montgomerymove2013

This year, unlike last year, I didn't live tweet the disaster that was my cross-town move. Honestly, I've been too f'n tired. Why? Well, because...May was a crazy month for me. First there was my weeklong story-gathering trip to Florida, which was an adventure all in itself. After five days and nearly 1200 miles, I arrived safely back in Montgomery just in time to move.

Everything about the move makes me want to tear my hair out.

• First it was a struggle getting everything packed and physically moved from one location to another. (Don't ever move hungover.)
• Then the power wasn't turned on the weekend I moved. (Oops.)
• Then there was a problem with the fuse box, which presented a fire hazard. (Yeah...)
• Then the gas fueled water heater wasn't vented properly, which presented a fire hazard. (Cue a MAJOR freakout by me.)
•  Now that every one of those issues has been fixed, I finally get to take a hot shower in my own home…and the water is brown. When it's not brown it's got a yellow tint. (Who wants to bathe in brown or yellow water?)

Literally every day has been something. I'm sure one day I'll look back on this and still cry laugh. Until then: I'm buying a case of water bottles, LOTS of beer and wondering why on Earth I moved into an old house.

Because I really can't even broach the subject of unpacking, organizing or rearranging my furniture.

...and I wonder why I can't find clean clothes?

Three Hundred and Sixty Five

365 days ago my life changed, in a very big way. I don't think I really took time to let it sink in that I was moving, that I was no longer going to be in a town I called home for so long. That I was no longer going to be comfortable in my own life. That I was going to struggle like I never thought possible. (That, one year later I would still struggle like I never thought I would.)

365 days of waking up and wondering if today would be the day I snapped, packed up my crap and moved home.

365 nights of going to bed in an apartment I pay all the bills for, myself.

Today I turned in the keys to my first grown up apartment. I am slowly moving away from my old self.

I'm becoming a real grown up. Not the fake one I've spent a few years pretending to be. I wonder what the future will hold. When I moved to Montgomery I had no idea what to expect. I thought I had things pretty well figured out, but I don't—I have no flippin' idea what I am doing, where I am going and who I will become.

The dogs are alive and well. I've managed to pay most of my bills on time. I don't have insurmountable credit card debit. I'm doing better than the national average. I know who I am. I have an idea of who I want to become.

Things aren't perfect, but I'm learning to let go of the perfect ideal I had in my head and roll with what is actually happening. Roll with the punches, isn't that a famous Jerry Maguire line?

I've never been good at looking back: I just get melancholy; I am not a person that really likes change. Ironic, because I love adventures and yearn for the day where on a whim, with some planning, I can just up and travel the globe.  

But here I am, looking to day 366 of living in Montgomery in a new (to me at least) house, with boxes and tote bags and my prized possessions shit everywhere… I'm sure it'll get unpacked and organized eventually, just like my life.

For now, I'm going to enjoy having a porch swing and some early Summer weather. Or at least try to.

Fulfilling My Civic Duty...

So I might have jury duty? While I was out of town, I received a survey from the US District Court as a prescreening after being randomly selected to possibly serve on a jury.

"Prospective" who are we kidding? Might as well as Juror #6.

I have the worst luck in the history of the world. This type of stuff, when it happens to me, usually results in a worse case scenario coming to life.

"Randomly selected to possibly serve" might as well be my summons. And while most I've talked to about this either laugh at me uncontrollably (thanks Momma), tell me to just stick to an extreme and not wavier (thanks Corey) or wax poetic about civic responsibility (thanks Papa); I know I will be on some Criminal Minds-esque gruesome case that leaves me horrified for weeks. Because that’s just how my life rolls.

F.

The Hard Hat Diaries: To Pee or Not to Pee?

It's funny how I have begun to measure my Woods Barbie trips. Not by the hours I spend in the car, or the miles I drive. But in the amount of drive thru meals I consume. How many Hampton versus Holiday Inns I lay my head in.

Which is just sad.

But, frankly, it's the reality of "traveling for work," at least when it comes to my job. I'm sure the glamorous people of the world that work glamorous jobs travel a little different than I do. Good for them. I wear work boots, a hard hat and never forget to pack my sense of adventure. Or GPS.

Florida is one of those states I really haven't (at least prior to last week) had a chance to explore. While I'm sure south Florida is lovely, and God knows the Keys are where it's freaking at, north and central Florida, well you kinda reminded me of Talladega, Ala.

I did get to spend one afternoon at the hotel's pool, soaking in some Florida sun. So, win? This pool mind you, was at a Hampton Inn in Lake City, Fla., and I could literally see I-75 from my lounger. We shared a parking lot with a RV dealership.  It wasn't quite as trailer park as your wild imagination might make it seem. But close. VERY close. 

Big highlights of this trip: I got lost, big time. (Surprise, surprise.) I didn't get a single marriage proposal. (Depressing.) I spent six hours with the same logger. He had so much to say, and I was grateful that the interview was so in depth. But around hour four of being in the woods, I literally had to think about which was worse: peeing in the woods without toilet paper or wetting my pants.

I'll let you draw your own conclusions as to what I selected.