Woods Barbie Reflects: Year One

Lately I have been a little "distracted." Lots of things have been happening, both good and bad, and I'm just not sure what the hell I'm doing with myself. While I sort that out…or try to at least, I had the opportunity to write my first editorial for Southern Loggin' Times. A serious reflection on the last year of my life. My first year in the woods.

And it was way harder than I ever thought it would be.

 See, my entire world changed when I joined the editorial team at Hatton-Brown. I traded in my high heels for Wolverine men's work boots. My sundresses for good ole fashioned Levi 501's.

One of my favorite parts of this editorial was coming up with the following list: the twelve most important things the forestry industry (& my job) has taught me.

One: In the most simple of terms, the smell of pine mixed with diesel is wonderful. It reminds me why I love my job and I am grateful to have the chance to spend some time outside. It does some good for the soul.

Two: Loggers are some of the best people in the world. As a Louisiana logger once told me, there are many misconceptions about this industry, but the biggest one is what loggers are really like. We need to fight to change these misconceptions.

Three: Some words are interchangeable and commonly accepted to stand for other things. Some don't.

Four: There are some companies that really are the embodiment of everything I hate: greed, stupidity and stepping on the little guys to get ahead.

Five: I'm never going to not get lost. As a Mississippi logger put it, "you need to brush up on your left and your right."

Six: Faith is a wonderful thing. In the last year my faith has been revealed to me in ways I never thought possible.

 

Seven: I love the sound of a chain flail delimbinator. (Pictured above for you nonheavy machinery people.)

Eight: Sonic Drive-Thru is in fact delicious, but a small person such as myself should not eat it for eight out of eleven meals and not expect to get sick. Try out the meat and three place. It's worth it every single time.

Nine: This industry, unlike any I've been around before, is a family. People look out for each other.

Ten: The EPA needs to slow their F'n roll.

Eleven: My interviews are fun. I love getting to know this extended family I find myself a part of, and sharing their stories with me is an honor. But I also like to laugh a little in the process. And it is always, always okay to laugh at me. I’m still getting the hang of the woods and I’m bound to make a fool out of myself.

Twelve: Riding in a giant piece of equipment over a bunch of trees in seven feet deep water, sitting on the lap of the operator can make for an interesting conversation and can get you some great pictures. It can be a little awkward though, when climbing out.   

I don't know what year two will bring for little Woods Barbie, but I can honestly say I can't wait to find out... and getting to this point, it's been a helluva ride.

#montgomerymove2013

This year, unlike last year, I didn't live tweet the disaster that was my cross-town move. Honestly, I've been too f'n tired. Why? Well, because...May was a crazy month for me. First there was my weeklong story-gathering trip to Florida, which was an adventure all in itself. After five days and nearly 1200 miles, I arrived safely back in Montgomery just in time to move.

Everything about the move makes me want to tear my hair out.

• First it was a struggle getting everything packed and physically moved from one location to another. (Don't ever move hungover.)
• Then the power wasn't turned on the weekend I moved. (Oops.)
• Then there was a problem with the fuse box, which presented a fire hazard. (Yeah...)
• Then the gas fueled water heater wasn't vented properly, which presented a fire hazard. (Cue a MAJOR freakout by me.)
•  Now that every one of those issues has been fixed, I finally get to take a hot shower in my own home…and the water is brown. When it's not brown it's got a yellow tint. (Who wants to bathe in brown or yellow water?)

Literally every day has been something. I'm sure one day I'll look back on this and still cry laugh. Until then: I'm buying a case of water bottles, LOTS of beer and wondering why on Earth I moved into an old house.

Because I really can't even broach the subject of unpacking, organizing or rearranging my furniture.

...and I wonder why I can't find clean clothes?

Three Hundred and Sixty Five

365 days ago my life changed, in a very big way. I don't think I really took time to let it sink in that I was moving, that I was no longer going to be in a town I called home for so long. That I was no longer going to be comfortable in my own life. That I was going to struggle like I never thought possible. (That, one year later I would still struggle like I never thought I would.)

365 days of waking up and wondering if today would be the day I snapped, packed up my crap and moved home.

365 nights of going to bed in an apartment I pay all the bills for, myself.

Today I turned in the keys to my first grown up apartment. I am slowly moving away from my old self.

I'm becoming a real grown up. Not the fake one I've spent a few years pretending to be. I wonder what the future will hold. When I moved to Montgomery I had no idea what to expect. I thought I had things pretty well figured out, but I don't—I have no flippin' idea what I am doing, where I am going and who I will become.

The dogs are alive and well. I've managed to pay most of my bills on time. I don't have insurmountable credit card debit. I'm doing better than the national average. I know who I am. I have an idea of who I want to become.

Things aren't perfect, but I'm learning to let go of the perfect ideal I had in my head and roll with what is actually happening. Roll with the punches, isn't that a famous Jerry Maguire line?

I've never been good at looking back: I just get melancholy; I am not a person that really likes change. Ironic, because I love adventures and yearn for the day where on a whim, with some planning, I can just up and travel the globe.  

But here I am, looking to day 366 of living in Montgomery in a new (to me at least) house, with boxes and tote bags and my prized possessions shit everywhere… I'm sure it'll get unpacked and organized eventually, just like my life.

For now, I'm going to enjoy having a porch swing and some early Summer weather. Or at least try to.

Fulfilling My Civic Duty...

So I might have jury duty? While I was out of town, I received a survey from the US District Court as a prescreening after being randomly selected to possibly serve on a jury.

"Prospective" who are we kidding? Might as well as Juror #6.

I have the worst luck in the history of the world. This type of stuff, when it happens to me, usually results in a worse case scenario coming to life.

"Randomly selected to possibly serve" might as well be my summons. And while most I've talked to about this either laugh at me uncontrollably (thanks Momma), tell me to just stick to an extreme and not wavier (thanks Corey) or wax poetic about civic responsibility (thanks Papa); I know I will be on some Criminal Minds-esque gruesome case that leaves me horrified for weeks. Because that’s just how my life rolls.

F.

The Hard Hat Diaries: To Pee or Not to Pee?

It's funny how I have begun to measure my Woods Barbie trips. Not by the hours I spend in the car, or the miles I drive. But in the amount of drive thru meals I consume. How many Hampton versus Holiday Inns I lay my head in.

Which is just sad.

But, frankly, it's the reality of "traveling for work," at least when it comes to my job. I'm sure the glamorous people of the world that work glamorous jobs travel a little different than I do. Good for them. I wear work boots, a hard hat and never forget to pack my sense of adventure. Or GPS.

Florida is one of those states I really haven't (at least prior to last week) had a chance to explore. While I'm sure south Florida is lovely, and God knows the Keys are where it's freaking at, north and central Florida, well you kinda reminded me of Talladega, Ala.

I did get to spend one afternoon at the hotel's pool, soaking in some Florida sun. So, win? This pool mind you, was at a Hampton Inn in Lake City, Fla., and I could literally see I-75 from my lounger. We shared a parking lot with a RV dealership.  It wasn't quite as trailer park as your wild imagination might make it seem. But close. VERY close. 

Big highlights of this trip: I got lost, big time. (Surprise, surprise.) I didn't get a single marriage proposal. (Depressing.) I spent six hours with the same logger. He had so much to say, and I was grateful that the interview was so in depth. But around hour four of being in the woods, I literally had to think about which was worse: peeing in the woods without toilet paper or wetting my pants.

I'll let you draw your own conclusions as to what I selected. 

Playing Catch-Up

The last ten days have been crazy around here. The next ten are going to be even crazier.

Before I get ahead of myself and discuss the latest Woods Barbie adventure, or how I might be getting jury duty, let me share this little gem from last weekend. I was never really a lake person...and then I went to this house which should be featured on Southern Living. 

I think we might have a future on Dancing with the Stars.

Also, who swing dances to "Thrift Shop?" Apparently me and my friend Eddleman, whom I've nicknamed Eddlenasty. I believe it was also sent to my dear friend Caitlin in an effort to set her up on a cross-country blind date? Sometimes I have the best ideas, y'all, the best ideas. 

The things you do for love...

It's no secret that my Momma and I have a very interesting relationship. I love her to death but homegirl drives me crazy sometimes. That's the reality of grown up mothers and daughters though right? Right.

Anyway, I've become one of those people I make fun of. I've become a "Share it to Win it" person. Sorta. I'm not going to share this link more than once. I'm not going to beg for y'all's votes. I'm not going to remind you that every day you can click vote and hopefully help momma and me bank $5,000 to World Market. I promise we will share the wealth when if we win. No. Instead, I'm throwing our/my entry into the world just once via each of my social outlets and then seeing what happens.

My Momma is amazing, but hey, so is everyone else's. It's just pretty cool I got to share it with the world in this unconventional way. (Also, 150 words is SO not enough to discuss all of Linda's high points. Marrying a former bartender? GENIUS MOVE.) Plus, I mean, this picture.

I love you Momma. Hope we win. Yet, one of the most important lessons you taught me was that if it's meant to be, it will be. Maybe this is meant to be. Maybe not?