Friday Favorites

When I was home I spent a lot of time watching television, staring blankly at books and falling asleep with my eyes open. Now that I've been back at work for about five whole minutes, I mean days, I find myself trolling the internet and laughing at stupid things people put on Facebook, like the video of Kevin Hart telling Jameis Winston to "stop doing dumb shit." Also known as procrastinating.

Here's what I've been favoriting this week:

ONE— The Cinderella trailer is out and it is everything.

TWO—Wednesday I got a peek at F&A's newborn photo shoot. Holy shit, I made some really adorable people. 

THREE— Everything about this article on Scary Mommy: 12 Things I Thought About Babies...Before I Had One but especially, "Maternity Leave will be a nice break from work." I remember thinking about all the things I was going to do on maternity leave and how much I was going to love getting things done. HA!  It was a miracle to get dinner made most days. And then there was that one time I had to remind myself to go outside because I hadn't gone outside in four days. 

FOUR— Baskin Robbins, like many places, celebrated Veteran's Day with a special nod to the military. ...it was odd but also didn't stop me from devouring the ice cream. Food coloring comes in brown?

FIVE— I mean, really. 

via

Boys, don't hate me.

Today I went back to work. I left you. But don't worry, I'll be back!

Spending six weeks at home with you guys was something I will never forget. Not just because of the sheer boredom I sometimes felt, or the bone deep exhaustion, or the time that Fitz got poop on my sweater, the wall and his own feet, no not because of that. Well, maybe because of that. 

But now I'm back to work and you're hanging with Miss Fannie. And being your momma is just one of my many titles, not my only title. I have thought about this day for many months and surprisingly it wasn't the hot ass mess I thought it would be. I was only marginally late for work. Fifteen minutes is total progress! I didn't cry when I closed the door, or when I was in the car. In fact, I felt oddly at peace—like this was how it was supposed to be. Which, honestly, I haven't felt in, uhhhh, seven months or so?

You're going to grow and change so much under Fannie's watchful eye and I am going to miss it. I'm sure I will miss some small milestones, big ones too. I know I will have plenty of "Momma Guilt" when those things happen. But I also know that when I come home at night I am going to be so much more present with you than I was these last few weeks. I will no longer take feeding time, when you stare up at me with those big brown eyes, for granted. I'll even be more present for your diaper changes. Okay, that one's a lie, I’m still pawning off the green shit on your father as often as possible. 

There are so many adventures we've yet to go on, so don't worry, every morning when I shut the door, I will be back.

One Month

A little late, but what matters is that it's here!

On November 7^th, Fitz and Alex turned one month! It's incredibly hard to believe it's been over thirty days since y'all came into the world. It feels so natural to have y'all in the house. It seems like you've been around forever. I can barely remember what life was like before. I mean I can, but I feel like it was a different kind of fun.

In your first month you've celebrated Halloween and by default, learned how embarrassing your Momma truly is.

You also began the complex relationship of boys and their dogs.

Fitz, you constantly are warbling away at your brother in the crib and I'm convinced you're already starting to tell secrets. You, my future little H-back, are weighing in at a solid seven pounds, seven ounces, which is one pound and two ounces more than your birth-weight. You're a tall little dude at 21 inches. Because of your constant noise, I've started calling you Fuss Budget, or simply Budget. Sorry 'bout that one kid.

Alex, you're my little fighter. You've had some tummy troubles which resulted in you dropping some weight and the nickname “Shrimpy” by some. Though you've found your groove and now tip the scales at six pounds five ounces, a pound and an ounce more than your birth-weight. Almost as tall as your brother, you're 20 and a half inches long. You're built like me and I have a feeling you'll be a long, lean one. I call you Squeaks, as you are constantly squeaking when you're upset. Squeaks is better than Shrimpy, right?

I can't wait to see what the next month holds. Hopefully we will all three get better at taking photos.

 

Hopefully.

A New Normal

October was a pretty big month for me. I had some babies.

Homeward bound!

That's so weird to actually say. On one hand, it feels like it was just the middle of the summer and I was a hot pregnant girl dreaming of October. Now it's November: Fitz and Alex are nearly a month old! WOAH. I also lost nearly 60 pounds in eight days. WOAH.

I won't go into too many gruesome birth details, because who really wants to know that the first words out of my mouth after seeing Fitzy was “What the F are we going to do with a baby?”, but I will say I'm really glad I'm not going through that ordeal again anytime soon! If ever.

Though, I would think that losing three liters of blood, and subsequent blood transfusion, would turn ANYONE off of an activity...

The hospital was a blur after their birth but look at how awesomely cute they were.

Oh look my husband is super cute too!

They've already changed so much. They've already grown so much. They are just so awesome. 

I'm not going to even pretend like I remotely know what the hell I'm doing. But I do feel pretty lucky to be their Momma. Though maybe not at the 3am feeding time. 

It's almost time for me to go back to work, five weeks sure did fly by, and while I'm excited to get some adult interaction again, I am going to miss mid-morning snuggles and long afternoon walks to the park.

Finding a “new normal” has never intimidated me, and over the next few weeks hopefully we will quickly fall into our new normal. If not, well, there's always gin. 

That's not even half the bottles we go through in a day...

The 80 Thoughts You Have During Pure Barre, Pregnant

Recently, I came across this post about the 100 thoughts you have during Pure Barre class and basically laughed my seat off/nodded right along. I mean it pretty much describes every class to a T. From rookie to veteran, some version of most of those thoughts runs through your head during the hour-long workout. I mean we all do KIND OF look like we're having sex during back dancing. 

However, lately, I've noticed that my thoughts have changed slightly. I'm WAY more desperate to think, "okay, I can do this." than before. So, while some of the 100 thoughts still apply, I thought I'd update the list a little.

The 80 Thoughts that Run Through Your Head at Pure Barre When You're in Your Third Trimester
(I really need a shorter title.)

I mean, the socks are basically perfect.

1. Okay, the thermostat is set at 76 today. You can totally survive that without fainting.
2. One day I’ll get my old body back, and then I'll finally buy some Lululemon. 
3. Why does every woman in here but me have on Lululemon?
4. I really wish I hadn't had that milkshake at lunch. 
5. Pay attention fool, you're kneeing yourself in the belly. 
6. Rock back on your tailbone? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 
7. First set of curls. You got this. You've still got abs. Somewhere.
8. Remember to drink water. 
9. You're about to give birth, you can plank for ninety seconds.
10.  …okay maybe you can't plank for ninety seconds.
11.  No, you can. Hang on to it. Fifteen seconds. 
12. It's totally okay to cry during side arm plank right? 
13. Why is the "wrap and reach" giving me vertigo? 
14. Oh goodie, F’ing push-ups. 
15. Drink some more water you're redder than a tomato. 
16. More push-ups. Yay.
17. You did like 90% of the push-ups the instructor called out. 
18. You're basically indescribably awesome little momma. 
19. Shit. Tricep dips. 
20. Do I look this whale-like when I'm sitting at work? 
21. My feet are looking nice and balloon-like today. 
22. I really want a shortbread cookie. 
23. My arms are so strong! 
24. Why don't my arms look like this at home? 
25. These two lb. weights are heavy. 
26. If I can't lift four total pounds, how am I going to lift a baby? 
27. Yes! I got called out for good form. 
28. Wait, was it good form or hang in there? 
29. Either way, I’ll take it. 
30. AHHH STRETCH 
31. I totally shouldn't have had that milkshake at lunch.
32. First thigh, it’s a marathon not a sprint. 
33. Think about how small an inch is. 
34. Don't punk out of this first one. 
35. Don't punk out of this first one. 
36. It's almost final ten. 
37. AHHH STRETCH 
38. Why do people stare when I slide into a spilt? 
39. Left side, you're about to be my bitch. 
40. …maybe not. 
41. Seat work. I can do this. 
42. MY STANDING LEG IS GOING TO FALL OFF. 
43. I am so having a cookie after dinner. 
44. Pretzel. This is going to be fun.
45. Who is breathing so loud? 
46. Crap, I think that's me. 
47. Left side! Strong Side! 
48. …that’s from a movie, I think. But which one? 
49. Remember the Titans! That's the movie!
50. Abs against the wall, aka, folding your giant boobs into your giant belly.
51. It feels so good to stretch my legs.
52. I should be tucking harder but this stretch is really lovely. 
53. Shit, fast abs. Don't do diamond. Don't do diamond. 
54. Of course, freaking diamond. 
55. Mmmm, back stretch! 
56. Center of the room, almost to the door! 
57. C curve with a giant belly looks really odd. 
58. I look like a teeter totter. 
59. Strong arms up; you can do this! 
60. Time to rock some upper body curls. 
61. YES! I still have strong abs in there. 
62. Lower body curls. RIIIIGHT. 
63. I wonder if the lower body curls tickle the baby's head? 
64. It feels so awesome to arch my back.
65. I hate this arm/leg stretch preggo modification. 
66. I might topple over. 
67. Was I supposed to do 12 or 15 on each side? 
68. Everyone looks like they are having sex. 
69. I wonder if I look like this having sex? 
70. {stifled giggles; dirty thought about husband.} 
71. These songs always make me miss college and cheap kamikaze shots.
72. I don't remember this making the side of my seat burn so much. 
73. FINAL FINAL TEN! YESSSSSSSSS! 
74. I love the stretching. 
75. I really love the stretching.
76. Rock up? More like wiggle and look sort of like a fish out of water. 
77. My whole body feels awesome. 
78. I think I just meowed when the instructor stretched me. 
79. I feel amazing. 
80. Ah, yes, this feeling. This is why I come every day. 

_______________________

Linking up with Katie for Healthy Habits!

Dear Boys, be fearless.

Y'all aren't even here yet, and I already have so many things I want to teach you, show you, give you. But as I think about how different everything is going to become in the next few weeks, for you and for me and for your Daddy, one thing sticks in my mind. I want you to be fearless.

I won't pretend to take your health for granted, so if you are listening in there, stay in as long as your little lungs need I'm sorry it's so cramped..., but I want you to be fearless starting right now.

This morning we will go out into the woods of middle Tennessee and you will experience yet another logging operation. you'll feel my heartbeat quicken when I first get out of the car and smell the diesel and fresh air, and again, when I hear the feller-buncher, delimber and skidder, and all the other big machines working for the first time—all the machines you'll one day become fascinated by, I hope. But then you will feel my whole body relax as I find my rhythm with my interview, as I move about the tract taking pictures. As I find my own fearlessness.

Momma has made her fair share of mistakes. Daddy, too. You'll soon learn that we're all stained with Original Sin and nobody is perfect. We will all continue to make mistakes. But it's not letting these mistakes define us that is truly important.

It's about finding that fearlessness to try again, after we fail. To learn when to push. To always be pushing. That's what makes us great. That's what makes us fearless.

Plenty of people in your life will help shape you into whomever you'll end up being. I personally want you to be a smart set of tennis players with sweet smiles and a little mischief in your eyes. I have a feeling that Alex will end up being the one, besides me of course, that knocks some sense into you, Fitz, every now and then. But what do I know? We don't know each other extremely well at this point.

I do know that over the last eight months, the three of us have been through Hell and back. We've struggled. We've been sick. We've been sad. We've traveled. We've gotten stuck in an ice storm. We've eaten every chocolate chip cookie known to man.

I've tried to be fearless: For y'all and for me. So now it's soon going to be your turn. Be fearless for me. Don't let someone tell you you can't do something. Don't ever accept no as an answer. Have the heart of lion but the compassion of a lamb.

Learn from my mistakes and my successes. Give me some slack when I can't give you everything you want, because of this reason or that reason. Recognize I am just trying to handle the uncharted waters of being y'all's Momma. I will always fight for you. But, for it to work, we've all got to be fearless.

Are you ready? Because I think I might be.

Healthy Habits During Pregnancy: Pure Barre

I've been #addicted to Pure Barre since I took my first class at the Montgomery studio on February 6^th, 2013, two days after they opened. I've taken over 200 classes in the last year and a half.

200! 100 of them in less than one year, and the other 100 while pregnant with twins, which doesn’t make me a rock star, but I thought I’d humble brag there for just a minute…Go me!

As with everything in my life, I find that I thrive on routine, and PB is no exception. When I first started taking classes I was in a different place life wise. I was working two jobs, traveling pretty consistently, had a bustling social life dating all the boys I could find and enjoying being me. I hesitate to say "being a young professional" because what does that even mean?, but I guess you could say that’s what I was? I took classes at 5:45am three days a week for over a year, and only one class after work a week. It was the perfect start to my morning, I felt better about the day and found myself not as tired or "slow to start" at work.

Now, my routine has obviously changed, as I can't ever seem to drag myself out of bed before about 7:20 at best. I take classes after work each day. While I miss getting a good start to the day and coming home from work around 5 with the evening to get some "chores" done, it was important to me to maintain PB as part of my daily life, even after getting pregnant.

I feel like I have to "make time" for Pure Barre now more than I ever did in my "previous" life. As a person that took to classes like a fish to water, never noticing that I had to make time before, this was disappointing. Though, I stuck it out and couldn't be happier about it. Classes have gotten harder as my belly has gotten bigger. In fact, watching me tuck, especially during the section of abs against the wall under the barre, is really a sight for sore eyes. But the classes have greatly improved my stiffness.

I was always flexible, and haven't lost any of it since getting pregnant, so being able to stretch daily really helps. I have a lot of round ligament pain, back pain and, sadly, all the other pains many have, and I've found this to be my relief. Sadly, the budget doesn't allow for the weekly prenatal massages that I've been told by other moms-to-be are ABSOLUTE LIFESAVERS, eyeroll on those bias.

Pure Barre is my go-to recommended form of exercise for anyone: pregnant or not, former dancer or not, super strong or not so super strong. It really works, with the added benefit of a mind escape and improved flexibility. And what lady doesn’t want improved flexibility? Classes are simultaneously fast and slow and will keep you on your toes for all 55 minutes.

I don't know what life will look like once Fitz and Alex make their way into this world. I've read plenty of things about "Momma guilt," being intentional and the whole working versus staying home thing, and how sometimes expensive exercise classes get tossed aside for "more important things."

A friend of mine, and fellow PB'er and ironically enough twin boy mom, once told me that you have to find out what works for your particular family and just go with that. Pure Barre makes me feel good; it is one measly hour a day and helps me be my best self. It's beyond a healthy habit, it's part of who I am, and I just can't see myself giving it up.

**Linking up with Katie Did What for Healthy Habits!